思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2013年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a group of graduate. standing at the roads of life and fasing four different choices. Evidently, the cartomnist intends to convey to readers that it is choosing a properly path that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foromost, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, good choice has become a key factor that distinguishes exeptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more, as the conductor orchestrating the simphony of changes, our goverment has made tremendous effort to build a sound education Sistem, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education.
In brief, good choice is the catalyst for societal and persoral development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there is a group of graduate. standing at the roads of life and fasing four different choices.
批改:“graduate”应用复数形式“graduates”;“fasing”拼写错误,应为“facing”
原文:Evidently, the cartomnist intends to convey to readers that it is choosing a properly path that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:“cartomnist”拼写错误,应为“cartoonist”;“properly”用词错误,此处应用形容词“proper”
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.
批改:此句起到承上启下作用,引出下文对现象的具体分析,表述简洁明了,没有语法错误。
原文:First and foromost, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, good choice has become a key factor that distinguishes exeptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.
批改:“foromost”拼写错误,应为“foremost”;“exeptional”拼写错误,应为“exceptional”。说明在现代社会,好的选择是区分杰出人士和普通人的关键因素。
原文:What is more, as the conductor orchestrating the simphony of changes, our goverment has made tremendous effort to build a sound education Sistem, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education.
批改:“simphony”拼写错误,应为“symphony”;“goverment”拼写错误,应为“government”;“Sistem”拼写错误,应为“System”。句子想表达政府为构建良好教育体系做出努力,为学生提供深造机会。
原文:In brief, good choice is the catalyst for societal and persoral development, from which we all stand to benefit.
批改:“persoral”拼写错误,应为“personal”。
原文:Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.
批改:此句逻辑清晰,先提出要支持倡导这种做法,再用倒装句强调这样做才能开发个人潜力,表述合理,没有语法错误。
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there is a group of graduate. standing at the roads of life and fasing four different choices. Evidently, the cartomnist intends to convey to readers that it is choosing a properly path that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society
批改:意图明确,想要描述漫画内容并引出漫画家传达的意义。
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foromost, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, good choice has become a key factor that distinguishes exeptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more, as the conductor orchestrating the simphony of changes, our goverment has made tremendous effort to build a sound education Sistem, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education
批改:结构清晰,通过“First and foremost”和“What is more”分别从个人和社会层面阐述现象的意义,有一定的逻辑性。拼写错误较多,降低了文章的语言准确性。
原文:In brief, good choice is the catalyst for societal and persoral development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential
批改:总结全文,再次强调好的选择的重要性,并发出呼吁,使文章结构完整。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:9/20
题目要求:作文基本遵循了题目要求,完成了描述漫画、解读其意义以及给出评论这三个关键任务。开篇对漫画内容进行了简要描述,中间部分对漫画所传达的关于选择的意义进行了分析,结尾则给出了自己的评论,呼吁大家支持并倡导做出好的选择。
语言表达:文中存在多处拼写错误,如“graduate.”“cartomnist”“foromost”“exeptional”“simphony”“goverment”“Sistem”“persoral”等;还有语法错误,如“it is choosing a properly path”中“properly”使用错误,应为“proper”。这些错误严重影响了语言的准确性。
内容层面:在分析好的选择的重要性时,从个人层面(区分杰出人士和普通人)和社会层面(政府构建教育体系为学生提供机会)进行了阐述,逻辑较为清晰。
修改建议:系统复习英语语法知识,特别是容易出错的语法点,如名词的单复数、动词的时态和语态、介词的用法等。同时,要注意单词的拼写,可以通过多读多写、使用拼写检查工具等方式来提高准确性。加油!
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2013年考研英语一范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语作文真题范文免费批改名额。
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