2024年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文,要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例,完整覆盖考研英语一作文真题常考图表的描述思路,是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy, saying proudly in the park, “The new park near my home is really great!" Simultaneously, in the right-hand bar chart, the number of parks in a certain city experienced a significant increase of 264from 2020 to 2022.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue physical health. This explains why an increasing number of them choose to exercise in the park, rather than lying in the home. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many parks, enabling citizens to relax and exercise freely. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the number of exercise participant"s and parks will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:e left-hand cartoon, there is a boy, saying proudly in the park, “The new park near my home is really great!" Simultaneously, in the right-hand bar chart, the number of parks in a certain city experienced a significant increase of 264from 2020 to 2022.
批改:你准确地描述了两个信息源的核心内容,并且使用了“Simultaneously”进行衔接,处理得很好。直接引语的使用也让描述更具画面感
原文:core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue physical health. This explains why an increasing number of them choose to exercise in the park, rather than lying in the home. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many parks, enabling citizens to relax and exercise freely. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:这是你全文最出彩的段落!你从“民众需求”和“政府作为”两个维度进行分析,逻辑周全且具有深度。特别是“as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes”这个比喻,极具文采和想象力,是绝对的加分项!
原文: about future trends? I am confident that the number of exercise participant"s and parks will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:你对未来趋势的预测与前面的分析相呼应,结论合理,简洁有力
原文:f exercise partici
批改:..exercise participant"s and parks... 这里有一个所有格使用错误。participant"s 表示的是“单个参与者的”,而这里你想表达的是“参与者”的复数概念。应改为复数名词 participants
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:17
你的这篇作文在多个维度都表现得相当出色:
内容与结构:创新性地结合漫画与图表,内容要点齐全,逻辑层次清晰严谨。
词汇与语法:成功运用了“orchestrating the symphony", "in the wake of", "tremendous efforts”等大量高级词汇和修辞手法,语言功底深厚。
衔接与连贯:使用“To start with", "In addition", "Considering these factors"等衔接手段,行文流畅,论证有力。
目前存在的仅是个别非常细微的语法和格式问题。
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