当你坐在考研英语二考场,面对2016年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语二写作冲刺话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目
考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文
What the pie chart above indicates is the proportion in travel aims. As can be observed in the pie chart above, the largest share is accupied by admiring scenery, accounting for 37%. In addition, the proportion of cultivating ability of dependence is mimimum, accounting for 6%. So it can be concluded that there is a diversification part in the percentage of the aims in traveling for the students.
What triggers the occurence of this scendrios? First of all, with the development of technology and science, it is universally accepted that progress has improved living standards for people,who can now afford experiences once considered beyond their reach. In addition, there has been a growing emphasis on quality of life and consumption experience in modern society.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:accupied
批改:occupied
原文:dependence
批改:independence
原文:What the pie chart above indicates is the proportion in travel aims. As can be observed in the pie chart above, the largest share is accupied by admiring scenery, accounting for 37%. In addition, the proportion of cultivating ability of dependence is mimimum, accounting for 6%. So it can be concluded that there is a diversification part in the percentage of the aims in traveling for the students.
批改:用具体数据描述图表内容,清晰直观,但是建议在段落后面补充这些数据反映的社会现象
原文:scendrios
批改:scenario
原文:experiences
批改:consumption
原文:What triggers the occurence of this scendrios? First of all, with the development of technology and science, it is universally accepted that progress has improved living standards for people,who can now afford experiences once considered beyond their reach. In addition, there has been a growing emphasis on quality of life and consumption experience in modern society.
批改:以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因,逻辑严谨,层次分明。作文建议采取三段式,可以补充一个总结段落升华主题
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10/15
作文建议采取三段式,可以补充一个总结段落升华主题
首段总体概括图表主题,详细列出关键数据变化;第二段分析原因,可从社会就业压力增大、学生追求自我实现等方面进行论述;第三段评论与展望,预测未来趋势可能持续,并强调其对个人和社会发展的积极意义。
文章整体来说,言简意赅,符合了考试写作提纲的要求,文章表示语义衔接的词语运用不太多,在以后的写作中可以多尝试使用一些表示衔接的词语,这样文章段落内部句内和段落之间的关系就能很明朗的表现出来。同时注意避免单纯罗列数据,可适当引用社会现象或政策背景支持分析,增强说服力。
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