考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2016年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一作文真题高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand, there is a father, somking and watching TV while asking his son to study hard, On the country, in the right-hand portrayal, there is a father and son studying together.Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that it is positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while bad examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provking in several ways, but two of them are particular y significant, First and foremost, positive examples can ignite children"s creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life reward and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, bad examples are like a heavy chain that hinders children progress, learing them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples are the catulyst for social and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. There, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the deterimental effects of bud examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：left-hand

批改：后加picture

原文：it is

批改：去掉

原文：In the left-hand, there is a father, somking and watching TV while asking his son to study hard, On the country, in the right-hand portrayal, there is a father and son studying together.Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that it is positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while bad examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：provking

批改：provoking

原文：particular y

批改：particularly

原文：,

批改：句号

原文：reward

批改：rewarding

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provking in several ways, but two of them are particular y significant, First and foremost, positive examples can ignite children"s creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life reward and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, bad examples are like a heavy chain that hinders children progress, learing them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：catulyst

批改：catalyst

原文：bud

批改：bad

原文：In brief, positive examples are the catulyst for social and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. There, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the deterimental effects of bud examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：该段能够针对图画现象提出自己的解决措施，注意避免拼写错误。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面，注意句子结构的正确；语法方面，语法基础较好。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的很认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

本文展示的2016年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一作文真题的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。