2021年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

据启航教育英语教研组统计，考研英语写作模板话题连续多年成为考研英语二大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2021年考研英语二批改例文中，考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达，获得高分，其写作思路可供2027考研英语二考生直接借鉴。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of different ways of physical exercise among the residents in a certain city . Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally , ways such as exercising with family members and group activities are also considered , accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively .

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows . To start with , as the saying goes ," On life " s stage , pressure is always present ." Nowadays , residents are compelled to confront immense work pressure , and as a result , exercising alone has emerged as their primary choice for utilizing leisure time . In addition , as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes , our government has made tremendous efforts to build many football fields , basketball courts and parks , enabling residents to exercise with their friends and family .Considering these factors , the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising .

What about future trends ? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of citizens , serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era , an will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades .

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of different ways of physical exercise among the residents in a certain city . Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally , ways such as exercising with family members and group activities are also considered , accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively .

批改：你对图表数据的概括非常准确，使用了“takes the lead", "followed by", "accounting for...respectively”等地道结构，描述清晰且有层次，很棒！

原文：e core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows . To start with , as the saying goes ," On life " s stage , pressure is always present ." Nowadays , residents are compelled to confront immense work pressure , and as a result , exercising alone has emerged as their primary choice for utilizing leisure time . In addition , as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes , our government has made tremendous efforts to build many football fields , basketball courts and parks , enabling residents to exercise with their friends and family .Considering these factors , the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising .

批改：这是你全文最出彩的段落！你从个人压力（内在动因）和政府建设（外在条件）两个维度进行分析，逻辑非常周全。更难得的是，“conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes”这个比喻极具创意和文采，是绝对的加分项！

原文：mpelled to confront immense work pressure , and as a result , exercising alone has emerged as their primary choice for utilizing leisure time . In addition , as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes , our government has made tremendous efforts to build many football fields , basketball courts and parks , enabling residents to exercise with their friends a

批改：内容上，两个原因分析得很到位。如果想让论证更严密，可以稍作补充：为什么“压力大”就必然导致选择“独自锻炼”？可以简单点明两者间的逻辑，例如，独自锻炼更具flexibility（灵活性）和convenience（便利性），更适合忙碌的日程。

原文：hat about future trends ? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of citizens , serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era , an will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades .

批改：你对未来趋势做出了合理的判断，并用“a microcosm of the changes in the era”这样宏大的视角进行总结，提升了文章的立意，结尾很有力量。

原文： an

批改：... , an will likely remain ... 这里有一个明显的拼写错误，an 应该是连接词 and。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12

评分理由：

你的这篇作文在内容、结构和语言亮点上都表现得非常出色。

内容与结构：三段式任务完成得非常好，内容要点齐全，逻辑层次清晰。

词汇与语法：你主动并成功地使用了“orchestrating the symphony", "microcosm"等高级词汇和复杂的语法结构，显示出强大的语言运用能力。

衔接与连贯：使用“To start with", "In addition", "As a result”等衔接手法，文章流畅自然。

主要的失分点在于一些不影响理解的、细微的格式错误（标点空格）和最后一处的拼写错误。

总评与修改建议：

重视“最后的检查”：你现在的主要问题集中在标点格式和个别拼写。请在完稿后，预留1-2分钟专门进行proofreading（校对），只检查标点、拼写和单复数。这个简单的习惯能帮你锁定那些因疏忽而丢掉的分数。

深化逻辑衔接：你已经在这么做了。未来可以尝试在因果链条上再多走一步，比如明确点出“工作压力大”和“选择独自运动”之间的直接联系（如时间灵活），让论证无懈可击。

复习考研英语大作文，务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，专为冲刺阶段考生打造，从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全，是考研英语写作模板写作提分的可靠方案。