2021年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2021年考研英语二大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of resident sport ways in certain city, doing a sport ownself takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by together with friends at 47.7% Additionally, factors such as with family and taking a team activity are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively. The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction they also pursue spiritual enjoyment, This explains why an increasing number of people choose take sports rather than stay at home. In additionally, as we all know, the outbreak of COVIO-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices.Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfuly reflect the choices of resident, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：resident,

批改：复数名词，改为 residents

原文：truthfuly

批改：单词拼写错误，改为 truthfully

原文： in certain city,

批改： city可数名词，前面缺少冠词 a，改为 in a certain city.

原文：resident sport ways

批改：典型的中式英语，不能按照汉语顺序写出来，加上适当的介词，改为 ways of physical exercise among the residents

原文：doing a sport ownself

批改：ownself 属于自创的单词，不存在，改为 Exercising alone

原文：together with friends

批改：together with friends 是方式状语，不能跟在 followed by 的后面，把together 改成 exercising

原文： with family

批改：同上，with family 不能跟在 such as 后面，前面加 exercising

批改：中间缺少必要的标点符号，分号

原文：,

批改：句号

原文： choose

批改：动词的用法，choose to do sth. 后面加to

原文： In additionally,

批改： In addition ,或者 Additionally,

原文：COVIO-

批改： COVID-19

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction they also pursue spiritual enjoyment, This explains why an increasing number of people choose take sports rather than stay at home. In additionally, as we all know, the outbreak of COVIO-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices.Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising

批改：原因分析不太切题，只阐述了人们做运动，重视健康。没有阐述独自锻炼为什么占比最高。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10 /15

从结构层面看，文章分段不太清晰；

从内容层面看，第二段应该选择占比最大的一至两个元素进行剖析；

从语言层面看，注意标点符号，语法上介词短语后面加名词、动名词，不能再跟一个介词短语了。

建议：检查单词拼写，多积累语法知识，分析题意时明确中心词和核心论点，使其更加切题，加油吧！

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