考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈,仅靠背诵远远不够,必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2021年考研英语一高分批改范例,涵盖考研英语一写作技巧高频常考话题,逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy, wearing traditional costume and saying to his father. "Dad, many classmates think learning opera is not funny." while his father encourages him to continue. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is sticking to oneself that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes. and challenges, perseverance has become a key fator that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.On the other hand, blindly following others is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress.
In brief, sticking to oneself is the catalyst for societal and personal development from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential. and fulfill our aspirations.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: shown in the cartoon, there is a boy, wearing traditional costume and saying to his father. "Dad, many classmates think learning opera is not funny." while his father encourages him to continue. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is sticking to oneself that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives.
批改:本段成功描述了图画场景并引出了核心观点
原文:saying to his fath
批改:"saying to his father." 后面的句号造成了句子不完整,应改为逗号。"not funny" 用词可以更精准,"not interesting" 或 "not enjoyable" 会更贴合语境。
原文:s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes. and challenges, perseverance has become a key fator that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.On the other hand, blindly following others is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress.
批改:本段从正反两方面论证,逻辑清晰。"heavy chain"的比喻用得很贴切。
原文:ef, sticking to oneself is the catalyst for societal and personal development from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential. and fulfill our aspirations.
批改:结尾段总结有力,再次升华主题。"catalyst"一词用得尤为精准。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
你的作文内容切题,结构严谨,论证充分。主要的提升空间在于语法细节的精准度和论证的深度。
总评与建议:
同学,你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你严谨的结构和准确的立意。你能够清晰地构建论证框架,并能运用恰当的比喻增强说服力。
当前,我们可以集中精力提升论证的深度和语言的精细度。我的核心建议是:
深化论点展开:在提出论点后,可以用1-2句话进一步解释其作用机制或具体表现。
注意细节完美:完成写作后,建议通读检查标点使用和拼写准确性。
本文展示的2021年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一写作技巧的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板,均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。
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