当你坐在考研英语二考场,面对2023年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语二写作冲刺话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The line chart clearly dipicts the variation of chinese residents" health literacy from 2012 to 2021.In 2012,the percentage of health literacy was 8.8%,but by 2021,the rate gradually increased to 25.4%.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with,as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes,our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound health system,enabling the populace to learn about their own bodies" health information and make right decisions.In addition, as we all know,the outbreak of COVID-19 has impact every aspect of our lives,significantly altering people"s behaviours and choices.Consequently,an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health.
What about future trends?I am confident that the proportion of health literacy will likely continue to slowly rise in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: dipicts
批改:拼写错误 (dipicts → depicts)
原文:chinese
批改:国家名 Chinese 首字母应大写
批改:该段完成 “描述图表” 的基础任务,准确捕捉健康素养整体上升的趋势,但存在拼写错误的问题,数据呈现不够完整。
原文: has impact
批改:has impact” 应为 “has impacted”
原文: health information
批改:表达不地道,改为 “enabling people to access health-related knowledge and make scientific health decisions”(“access health-related knowledge” 更贴合 “健康素养提升” 的语义,“scientific health decisions” 比 “right decisions” 更精准)
批改:该段完成 “分析现象原因” 的核心任务,从政府举措和疫情影响两方面展开,方向贴合实际。但存在语法错误和表达不地道的问题
批改:补充为 “I am confident that the proportion of health literacy will likely continue to slowly rise in the coming years, as it reflects the joint efforts of the government and people"s growing emphasis on well-being”(结合 “政府努力” 和 “民众健康重视度” 深化评论,满足题干 “give your comments” 要求)
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10/15 分
本文采用 “图表解读 - 原因分析 - 趋势预测” 的经典三段式结构,主旨明确,核心趋势捕捉准确。在图表解读部分,数据呈现清晰,但需补充中间数据和趋势阐释;在原因分析部分,论证方向贴合社会实际,框架完整,仅存在少量语法错误和修辞冗余,论证逻辑基本紧密;在趋势预测部分,收尾自然,需优化时间表述并深化评论深度。总体而言,文章核心结构、主旨和论证逻辑均符合要求,语言规范性较好,仅需在细节上完善。建议后续备考中,强化图表数据的完整性和趋势阐释力度,修正基础语言错误,进一步提升评论的深度和针对性,全面提升文章的竞争力。
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