据启航教育英语教研组统计,考研英语作文批改话题连续多年成为考研英语一大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2021年考研英语一批改例文中,考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达,获得高分,其写作思路可供2027考研英语一考生直接借鉴。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy, wearing a monkey king"s clother, and ssaying "ad, many students think learning Chinese traditional opera is not interesting.", while his father suggested him to follow his heart. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to cconvey to readersthat it is following own"s heart that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provkingin sseveralways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and fforemost following own"s heart can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, neglecting follow own"s heart is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining bring in future society.
In brief, following own"s heart is the catalyst for societal and personal development, which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively and advocate this quality. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy, wearing a monkey king"s clother, and ssaying "ad, many students think learning Chinese traditional opera is not interesting.", while his father suggested him to follow his heart.
批改:存在多处拼写错误,“clother”应为“clothes”,“ssaying”应为“saying”,“ad”表意不明,“suggested him to”表述错误,应是“suggested that he”。
原文:Evidently, the cartoonist intends to cconvey to readersthat it is following own"s heart that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:“cconvey”拼写错误,应是“convey”;“readersthat”中间缺少空格,应是“readers that”;“following own"s heart”表述有误,应是“following one"s own heart”。
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provkingin sseveralways, but two of them are particularly significant.
批改:“thought - provkingin”拼写错误,应是“thought - provoking in”;“sseveral”拼写错误,应是“several”。
原文:First and fforemost following own"s heart can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.
批改:“fforemost”拼写错误,应是“foremost”;“following own"s heart”表述错误,应是“following one"s own heart”;“being self - consuming”表意不太清晰
原文:What is more, neglecting follow own"s heart is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining bring in future society.
批改:“neglecting follow own"s heart”表述错误,应是“neglecting to follow one"s own heart”;“shining bring”表述错误,应是“shining in”。
原文:In brief, following own"s heart is the catalyst for societal and personal development, which we all stand to benefit.
批改:“following own"s heart”表述错误,应是“following one"s own heart”;“which we all stand to benefit”表述不完整,应是“which we all stand to benefit from”。
原文:Therefore, we should actively and advocate this quality.
批改:“actively and advocate”表述错误,应是“actively advocate”,缺少动词。
原文:Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.
批改:此句语法正确,表达清晰,强调了只有遵循内心才能挖掘个人潜力。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13/20
题目要求:作文基本遵循了题目要求,围绕给定漫画展开写作。首先对漫画进行了描述,虽存在一些表述不准确的问题,但大致呈现了漫画中男孩穿着孙悟空服装表达对学习中国传统戏曲不感兴趣以及父亲建议他跟随内心的关键信息。接着尝试解读漫画隐含意义,指出遵循内心在个人生活和社会中的重要作用。最后给出了自己的评论,倡导大家积极培养遵循内心这一品质以挖掘个人潜力,整体结构上符合题目要求的三个要点。
语言表达:部分语句表达较为流畅,能够较为直接地传达核心观点,例如“Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.”使用了倒装句,强调了遵循内心对于挖掘个人潜力的重要性。
内容层面:能够明确指出漫画所反映的核心话题——遵循内心,并围绕这一话题展开论述,阐述了遵循内心在激发创造力、促进个人成长以及推动社会和个人发展等方面的积极作用,主题较为明确。
修改建议:在完成作文后,认真检查每一个单词的拼写,确保没有拼写错误。平时多积累词汇,阅读不同类型的英语文章,学习并运用一些高级词汇和短语来替换简单词汇,提高词汇的多样性和丰富性。
复习考研英语大作文,务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,专为冲刺阶段考生打造,从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全,是考研英语作文批改写作提分的可靠方案。
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