2021年考研英语一大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2021年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一写作技巧高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目

考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy wearing Wukong’s clothes and saying his classmate don’t like his hobby , while his father answers him don’t care other people ideas, just he likes is enough. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is insisting myself hobby that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, interest can ignite our creativity, promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, in modern society full of changes, chance and challenges, whether permanently insist interesting by myself has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.

In brief, insistence is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality. Only by doing so can fulfill our aspirations.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：own in the cartoon, there is a boy wearing Wukong’s clothes and saying his classmate don’t like his hobby , while his father answers him don’t care other people ideas, just he likes is enough. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is insisting myself hobby that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：开篇成功描述了图画场景并引出了核心观点。

原文：ng his classm

批改：：“saying his classmate don’t like” 存在主谓不一致，应为 “saying his classmates don‘t like” 或 “his classmate doesn’t like”。“his father answers him don’t care...” 这个转述对话的结构可以优化，英语中不常用 “answer sb. to do” 的结构，可以改为 “his father responds that he shouldn‘t care about others’ opinions, and that his own liking is what matters”。

原文：Wukong’s clothes and saying his classmate don’t like his hobby , while his father answers h

批改：“Wukong’s clothes” 可以更具体地表达为 “a Monkey King costume”（孙悟空戏服）。“insisting myself hobby” 中，“myself” 是反身代词，这里需要用形容词性物主代词 “my”，且 “insist” 通常接 “on”，建议改为 “pursuing my own hobby” 或 “sticking to my own interests”。

原文：henomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, interest can ignite our creativity, promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, in modern society full of changes, chance and challenges, whether permanently insist interesting by myself has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.

批改：本段从两个层面论证了兴趣与坚持的价值，逻辑清晰。“ignite our creativity”和“self-consuming”等表达运用得当。

原文：sist interesting by mys

批改：“insist interesting” 搭配不当，“insist” 后不直接接形容词。可以优化为 “the perseverance to stick to one’s own interests” 或 “whether one can persistently pursue personal interests”。

原文：nce and chal

批改：“chance” 应用复数 “chances” 以与 “changes, challenges” 保持并列。

原文： brief, insistence is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality. Only by doing so can fulfill our aspirations.

批改：结尾段总结有力，再次升华主题。“catalyst”（催化剂）一词用得尤为精准。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

你的作文内容切题，结构严谨，论证清晰。主要的提升空间在于语法结构的精准把握和词汇搭配的准确性。

总评与建议：

同学，你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你严谨的结构和准确的立意。你能够清晰地构建“描述-寓意-分析-总结”的框架，并能从个人价值与社会竞争力两个层面进行阐述，这非常可贵。

当前，我们可以集中精力提升语言的精细度。你的文章骨架很好，现在可以致力于让血肉更丰满。我的核心建议是：

注重句子结构完整性：请特别留意句子，尤其是倒装句等复杂句式，是否具备了完整的主谓结构。写完后多读一遍，检查句子的完整性。

提升词汇搭配准确性：在记忆单词时，有意识地关注其常用搭配和词性，比如 “insist on something” 或 “persevere in doing something。

本文展示的2021年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一写作技巧的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。