2021年考研英语一大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2021年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文万能句型写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目

考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy that wearing custume and saying that many students opera is not fun, while his father says that you enjoy opera is enough.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is hobby that plays an important and positive role in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particular significant.First and foremost, hobby can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What"s more, neglect hobby is like a heavy chain that hinder children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life.

In brief, hobby is the catalyst for social and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential and make our world shine with renewed brillance.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： that wearing

批改：用现在分词短语作后置定语即可，删除that

原文：custume

批改：前面缺少冠词，前 加a ，单词拼写错误，改为 costume​

原文：brillance

批改：单词拼写错误，改为 brilliance

原文：hobby

批改：hobby是可数名词单数，前面缺少冠词a

原文： particular

批改：significant是形容词，需要用副词来修饰，改为 particularly​

原文：neglect hobby

批改： 动词neglect不能直接作主语，应改为动名词形式 neglecting hobbies

原文：hinder

批改：关系代词“that”指代单数名词“chain”，从句的谓语动词应该变单三，改为 hinders

原文：is father says that you enjoy opera is enough

批改：that引导的是一个宾语从句，又嵌套了一个完整的主语从句结构 ，语法混乱。you enjoy opera是一个完整的句子，不能直接作为主语，后面再接谓语动词 is。将动作名词化，改为his father says that your enjoyment is enough.

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15 /20

从结构层面看，本文采用描述-分析-总结”三段式结构：首段精准概括漫画内容并点明主旨；第二段从正反两方面深入论证；结尾升华主题，提出倡议。

从语言层面看，使用了高级词汇和倒装句式，使表达更生动。单词拼写错误，语法上有个小错误：名词前缺少冠词，从句结构嵌套。

建议：检查单词拼写，多积累语法知识，加油吧！

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