面对2013年考研英语一大作文,许多同学最关心的是有没有可复制的写作模板。本文带来的高分范文严格遵循考研英语作文模板高分框架,从开头引入、主体论证到结尾呼应,全文清晰流畅,是考研英语考生的必备学习资料。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are a lot of graduated students, standing on their life roads and making their choice, which includes getting a job, join postgraduate entrance exam and so on. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is various choices after graduation that can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education and society system, enabling graduated students could have more different choices to realize their life value and chase their own dreams. On the other hand, various choices confuse graduated students. In that way, some graduated students will feel puzzled, afraid and even stressed.
Therefore, various choices after graduation, which is a pervasive social phenomenon is a double-edged sword which can have a profoundly positive or negative influence on the development of young people. When facing this phenomenon, we need to extract its essence while eliminating its drawbacks, delving into how to maximize the positive impact and effectively mitigate or alleviate the negative aspects.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:graduated students
批改:“graduated students” 是一个常见的中式表达,地道的说法是 “graduates” 或 “graduating students”。
原文: making their choice
批改:“making their choice, which includes getting a job, join postgraduate entrance exam” 这部分中,“join” 的形式需要调整,以保持与 “getting” 的并列关系,应改为 “joining the postgraduate entrance exam”。
原文:hown in the cartoon, there are a lot of graduated students, standing on their life roads and making their choice, which includes getting a job, join postgraduate entrance exam and so on. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is various choices after graduation that can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:你准确地描述了漫画的核心要素——毕业生和多种选择,并点明了漫画的寓意,这非常好。如果能在用词和并列结构上更地道一些,这段描述就会更加出色。
原文:society syst
批改:“society system” 搭配不当,通常我们说 “social system” (社会体系) 或直接说 “society”。
原文:nabling graduated stud
批改:“enabling graduated students could have...” 这个结构有误。“enable” 后面应接宾语和动词不定式 to do,所以应改为 “enabling graduates to have...”。
原文:various choices confu
批改:第二个论点 “various choices confuse graduated students” 的提出稍显突兀,与第一个论点之间缺乏自然的过渡。可以考虑使用 “However, this very abundance of options can also be a source of confusion for some graduates.” 这样的句子来承上启下。
原文:s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education and society system, enabling graduated students could have more different choices to realize their life value and chase their own dreams. On the other hand, various choices confuse graduated students. In that way, some graduated students will feel puzzled, afraid and even stressed.
批改:你从正反两个方面来论证“选择的多样性”,这个辩证思考的角度非常棒,是高分作文的关键。第一个论点的论述很充实。
原文: which is a perva
批改:第一句话的主语是 “various choices”,所以定语从句中的 “which is” 应改为 “which are”
原文:profoundly positi
批改:“profoundly” 是副词,不能直接修饰名词 “influence”,应改为形容词 “profound”。
原文:efore, various choices after graduation, which is a pervasive social phenomenon is a double-edged sword which can have a profoundly positive or negative influence on the development of young people. When facing this phenomenon, we need to extract its essence while eliminating its drawbacks, delving into how to maximize the positive impact and effectively mitigate or alleviate the negative aspects.
批改:总结段再次强调了现象的双面性,并提出了要扬长避短,完成了结论部分的任务
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16分
总分与总评
这篇作文内容切题,结构完整,层次清晰,使用了较丰富的语法结构和词汇。但在语法、词汇和衔接手法上存在一些错误。
总评与修改建议:
你这篇作文最突出的优点是辩证思维的框架。这种全面的视角非常值得肯定。
老师建议你下一步可以重点在以下方面努力:
优化段落内部的逻辑衔接:在从一个论点转向另一个论点(尤其是转折时),使用合适的过渡词或句子,让行文更流畅,逻辑更严密。
历届高分学长学姐都强调,考研英语作文模板写作提分离不开范文精读+精修反馈。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,正是这样一套覆盖精读、模板、批改的全流程方案,值得每一位考研英语备考生收藏。
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