考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2023年考研英语二备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语二写作技巧话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语二高分写作模板。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The health literacy level of residents in our country from 2012 to 2021.
The chart records the health literacy level of residents in our country from 2012 to 2021.The percentage of health literacy level had been on a slight rise from 2012 to 2016,which sword from 8.8 to 11.58. What"s more,the percentage of health literacy level had been on a sharp rise from 2017 to 2021,which sword from 14.18 to 25.40.
In my view, this change can be attributed to a host of factors, among which two are analyzed as follows.In the first place, economic advancement has to some extent contributed to this phenomenon, unlike their previous generations, people in modern times enjoy gaining information about their fundamental health and understanding, and therefore making right decision.Secondly, government support also plays a role in this change, it helps people have higher consciousness that maintains and facilitates their health.
Based on what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that the reasons contributing to this phenomenon are multifaceted. I firmly believe that it will continue to gather momentum in the coming years.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:h literacy level of residents in our country from 2012 to 2021. The chart records the health literacy level of residents in our country from 2012 to 2021.The percentage of health literacy level had been on a slight rise from 2012 to 2016,which sword from 8.8 to 11.58. What"s more,the percentage of health literacy level had been on a sharp rise from 2017 to 2021,which sword from 14.18 to 25.40.
批改:第一句单独列出图表的主题,这个做法很独特。第二段准确地描述了图表数据,并清晰地划分了两个不同的增长阶段,使用了“slight rise”和“sharp rise”来对比,这一点做得很好!
原文:lth literacy level of residen
批改:第一句话 The health literacy level... 是一个名词性短语,不是一个完整的句子。我们可以考虑将它作为标题,或者与第二句合并,例如:The chart records the changes in the health literacy level of residents in our country from 2012 to 2021.
原文:ich sword
批改:which sword from...:这里应该是动词“soared”(飙升)的拼写错误。“Soar”是一个非常地道且生动的词,用在这里很合适,正确拼写是 soared。
原文:my view, this change can be attributed to a host of factors, among which two are analyzed as follows.In the first place, economic advancement has to some extent contributed to this phenomenon, unlike their previous generations, people in modern times enjoy gaining information about their fundamental health and understanding, and therefore making right decision.Secondly, government support also plays a role in this change, it helps people have higher consciousness that maintains and facilitates their health.
批改:本段通过“a host of factors”自然过渡到原因分析,逻辑清晰。你从“经济发展”和“政府支持”两个层面展开论证,思路非常正确,并且能够进行今昔对比,增加了论证的深度。
原文:aking righ
批改:...making right decision.:这里“decision”作为可数名词,前面需要加上冠词,应为 making the right decision 或 making right decisions。
原文:d on what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that the reasons contributing to this phenomenon are multifaceted. I firmly believe that it will continue to gather momentum in the coming years.
批改:结尾段在语法和用词上都很出色,准确地表达了你的观点。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11
评分理由:
内容要点: 你完整地覆盖了所有内容要点。
语法与词汇: 你使用了一些较丰富的语法结构和词汇(如“attribute to", "a host of", "gather momentum")。
语言准确性: 文章流畅易懂,存在一些拼写、时态和句子结构可以优化的地方,但不影响整体理解。
连贯与衔接: 段落层次清晰,有效地使用了“In the first place", "Secondly”等衔接手法。
格式与语域: 格式正确,语域基本恰当。
总体修改建议:
同学,你的作文最突出的优点是逻辑架构清晰,并且能够使用像“gather momentum”这样地道的短语,这显示了你的词汇积累和运用意识,非常棒!
现阶段,我们可以将提升的重点放在 “句子结构的严谨性” 和 “用词的精准度” 上。我建议你:
关注常见错误类型:比如“逗号粘连”和名词单复数/冠词的使用。写完句子后,可以留意一下逗号连接的是否是两个可以独立的句子。
如果你也想让自己的考研英语二作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语二写作技巧高分资料礼包。
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