考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈,仅靠背诵远远不够,必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2013年考研英语二高分批改范例,涵盖考研英语二大作文高频常考话题,逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。
一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the situation of college students with part-time job at a certain unersity. In the freshman year,the percentage of students was 67.77%, but by the junior year,this rate had gradually risen to 71.93% In contrast, the proportion of students experienced a significant increase of 16.31% from the junior year to the senior year.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with,as the saying goes," On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays university students are compelled to confront immense economic pressure and as a result, taking the part-thme job has emerged as the significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes challenges, and chances,taking a part-time job to have work experience is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What abont future trends? I"m confident that the proportion or taking the part-time job will steadily Increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:job
批改:可数名词单数形式不能单独存在,改为复数 jobs
原文:students
批改:改为 students taking part-time jobs 更合适
原文:71.93%
批改:加句号
原文:students
批改:改为 students taking part-time jobs 更合适
批改:开头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图表内容
批改:语法正确
原文:Nowadays
批改:加逗号
原文:the part-thme job
批改:注意拼写,且 job 写为复数形式更合适,改为 taking part-time jobs
原文:changes
批改:加逗号
原文:have
批改:改为 accumulate 积累 更合适
批改:内容表达很好,也很具体
原文:or
批改:此处为 of
原文:Increase
批改:此处首字母不大写
原文:taking the part-time job
批改:此处应该是 学生的比例,改为 students taking part-time jobs
批改:结尾段内容表达很好
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分/ 15分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明的个人观点与图表的内容是贴合的
语言表达:存在几处细节表达问题,词汇表达不错,一些句式表达也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容也比较丰富具体
修改建议:细节表达问题结合作文批注仔细修改,要细心。之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的语言表达,试着多用自己的话来写,总的来说写的不错,加油!
本文展示的2013年考研英语二范文可以提炼为考研英语二大作文的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板,均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。
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