考研英语一2011年大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2011年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, two travelers are boating on a lake and throwing garbage into it, making the water look very dirty. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, the protection of environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for shaping national morals, further propelling social stability and sustainable development. On the other hand, learning to protect our environment can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.

How can we put an end to the problem of pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including enhancing supervision and strengthening moral education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to help students cultivate more rational values. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：environment pollution

批改：“environment pollution”→“environmental pollution”（“environmental” 为形容词，修饰 “pollution”，固定搭配，考研核心词汇）

原文：he protection of environment

批改：“the protection of environment”→“environmental protection”（固定短语，更简洁，考研高频搭配）

原文：shaping national morals

批改：“shaping national morals”→“cultivating national morality”（“培育国民道德” 搭配更地道，“morality” 表整体道德水准，考研词汇精准性）

原文：nurture our souls,

批改：“nurture our souls”→“nurture our sense of responsibility”（“培养责任感” 比 “滋养灵魂” 更具体，贴合环保主题，考研内容充实性要求）

原文：being self-consuming.

批改：“being self-consuming”→“self-indulgent”（“self-indulgent” 表 “自我放纵”，与 “保护环境” 形成对比，更贴合语境，考研词汇精准性）

原文： It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including enhancing supervision and strengthening moral education.

批改：表达不错哦

原文：With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：表达不错哦

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.

批改：表达不错哦

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2011年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一真题冲刺保驾护航。