本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2023年考研英语二高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The line chart clearly depicts The health literacy of citizens of our country from 2012 to 2021.In 2012,The percentage of health literacy was 8.80%,but by 2021,This right had substantially risen to 25.40%.
The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes,our government has made tremendous enforts to,Driving economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populaces,Allowing them to afford better foodsThat were previously they made a luxury items.To start with,an increasing number of people believe that in modern society full of changes,challenges,and chances,keeping health is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run.In addition,as we all know,the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives,Significantly altering people"s behaviors and chioces.Consequently,an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprisng.
What about furture trends?I am confident that the porportion of health literacy will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:right
批改:rate
原文:The line chart clearly depicts The health literacy of citizens of our country from 2012 to 2021.In 2012,The percentage of health literacy was 8.80%,but by 2021,This right had substantially risen to 25.40%.
批改:用具体数据描述图表内容,清晰直观,但是建议在段落后面补充这些数据反映的社会现象。
原文:enforts
批改:efforts
原文:,Driving
批改:drive
原文: they made a
批改:deemed as
原文:chioces
批改:choices
原文:The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes,our government has made tremendous enforts to,Driving economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populaces,Allowing them to afford better foodsThat were previously they made a luxury items.To start with,an increasing number of people believe that in modern society full of changes,challenges,and chances,keeping health is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run.In addition,as we all know,the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives,Significantly altering people"s behaviors and chioces.Consequently,an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprisng.
批改:以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因,逻辑严谨,层次分明。
原文:furture
批改:future
原文:What about furture trends?I am confident that the porportion of health literacy will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:总结全文,升华主题,展望未来,立意深远。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12 /15
这篇文章内容完整充实,结构清晰合理,逻辑严谨,层次分明,句型表达丰富。
语法:语言表达和语法基础上,进步的空间还很大。比如本次作文中出现多次的单词拼写错误等问题,会很拉低你的平均分。另外还需要注意一些基础的语法问题和表达搭配问题,有时间好好看看文中的批改,细心吸收,争取在接下来的练习中避免类似的错误。
首段总体概括图表主题,呈现中国居民健康素养水平的显著提升。第二段原因分析,可从公共医疗体系和基础设施建设加强、民众对个人健康的日益重视等角度展开。第三段可结合当前趋势,合理推测未来的发展方向,同时建议政府继续扩大卫生服务范围以持续提升全民健康素养水平。
文章整体来说,言简意赅,符合了考试写作提纲的要求,文章表示语义衔接的词语运用不太多,在以后的写作中可以多尝试使用一些表示衔接的词语,这样文章段落内部句内和段落之间的关系就能很明朗的表现出来。同时注意避免单纯罗列数据,可适当引用社会现象或政策背景支持分析,增强说服力。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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