考研英语二2011年大作文失分点批改

2011年考研英语二大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语二2011年大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、考研英语二2011年大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts the changes in a part of market shares of car market in China from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the percentage of Chinese cars was approximately 25%, but by 2009, this rate had substantially risen to around 35%. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars experienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of American cars remained stable and steady.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford automobiles that were previously deemed luxury Chinese items. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China’s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about the future trends? I am confident that the proportion of Chinese cars will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars will likely continue to decrease relatively stable.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：f market share

批改：a part of market shares of car market → changes in market shares in the Chinese car market (表达冗余不自然)

原文：about 10

批改：about 10% → from 35% to 25% (数据不完整)

原文：mained stable and ste

批改：remained stable and steady → remained relatively stable (用词重复)

原文： bar chart clearly depicts the changes in a part of market shares of car market in China from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the percentage of Chinese cars was approximately 25%, but by 2009, this rate had substantially risen to around 35%. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars experienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of American cars remained stable and steady.

批改：本段基本完成了图表描述，但存在数据不准确、表达冗余的问题

原文：uxury Chine

批改：luxury Chinese items → luxury items (用词不当)

原文： core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford automobiles that were previously deemed luxury Chinese items. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China’s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：段是主要失分点。分析流于表面，使用了大量空洞的套话，未能针对"国产汽车份额上升"这一具体现象提供实质性的原因分析。

原文：he proportion of Chinese cars will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars will likely continue to decrease relatively stable.

批改：the proportion of Chinese cars → the market share of Chinese brands (术语统一) decrease relatively stable → decline further 或 continue to decrease (逻辑矛盾)

原文： about the future trends? I am confident that the proportion of Chinese cars will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars will likely continue to decrease relatively stable.

批改：预测方向合理

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10分

总评：

同学，你好！你的作文结构完整，能够把握图表的主要趋势，这是很好的基础。为了取得更好的成绩，请注意以下几点：

主要优点：

文章结构清晰完整

能够识别主要数据变化趋势

语言表达基本流畅

待改进方面：

数据准确性：图表作文中数据的精确性至关重要

论述具体性：分析要针对图表反映的具体现象

避免空洞套话：删除没有实质内容的空泛表达

具体建议：

写作前仔细核对图表中的具体数据

分析原因时要紧扣主题，提供实质性论据

使用准确的专业术语，保持全文统一

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