作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2019年考研英语二大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语二真题常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、2019年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2019年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2019年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts various choices of graduates in 2013 and 2018 at a certain university, In2013. the percentage of looking for jobs was 68.1%, but by 2018, this rate had substantially decreased to 60.7%. In contest, the proportain of continuing study and starting one"s own business. exprerinenced a slow increase of 7.7% and. 1.3% during the same period
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows, To start with. As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremend ous efforts to buid a sound education system; enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education. In addition, An increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, own busines is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
what about future trends? I can confident that the proportion of continuing study and starting one"s own business will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of looking for jobs will likely continue to decrease
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:e bar chart clearly depicts various choices of graduates in 2013 and 2018 at a certain university, In2013. the percentage of looking for jobs was 68.1%, but by 2018, this rate had substantially decreased to 60.7%. In contest, the proportain of continuing study and starting one"s own business. exprerinenced a slow increase of 7.7% and. 1.3% during the same period
批改:本段清晰地指出了三大毕业去向的变化趋势,这是很好的基础
原文:In contest, the proportain of continuing study and starting one"s own business. exprerinenced a slow in
批改:“In contest” 是 “In contrast” 的拼写错误。“proportain” 应为 “proportion”。“exprerinanced” 是 “experienced” 的拼写错误。同时,段中的句号使用有误,造成了句子不完整,需要调整标点以保证句子的连贯性。
原文:re reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows, To start with. As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremend ous efforts to buid a sound education system; enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education. In addition, An increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, own busines is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:你从政府政策和青年观念两个角度分析原因,思路很棒。“As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes”这个比喻非常新颖且富有文采!
原文:To start with. As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremend ous efforts to buid a sound education system; enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education. In addition, An increasing number
批改:To start with.” 后面的句号应改为逗号。“tremend ous” 应合并为 “tremendous”。“buid” 是 “build” 的拼写错误。“own busines” 应为 “having their own business”。“considering” 首字母不应大写。
原文:hat about future trends? I can confident that the proportion of continuing study and starting one"s own business will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of looking for jobs will likely continue to decrease
批改:结尾段对未来趋势做出了合理的预测,这符合图表作文的常见写法。预测本身也基于图表数据的延续性,很有说服力。
原文:what about future trends? I can confident that the proportion of continuing study and starting one"s own business will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of looking for j
批改:开头的 “what” 首字母应大写。“I can confident” 是语法错误,应改为 “I am confident”。“the proportion of continuing study” 可以优化为 “the proportions of graduates pursuing further study and starting businesses”。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11
你的作文内容切题,结构清晰。在数据的精确描述、语法和拼写的准确性上还有提升空间。
总评与建议:
同学,你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你清晰的段落意识和富有创见的分析。你不仅能描述数据,更能从“政府作为指挥家”这样独特的角度来阐释原因,这非常难得!
当前,我们可以集中精力提升数据的严谨性和语言的基础准确性。你的宏观思路很好,现在需要让微观的数据处理和语法拼写与之匹配。我的核心建议是:
精确处理数据:在描述数据变化时,注意区分“百分比(%)”和“百分点(percentage point)”,并确保对增长幅度的计算和描述是精确的。
巩固语法与拼写:请特别关注基本句型结构(如I am confident)和高频词的拼写。完成初稿后,快速通读一遍,重点检查这些细节,就能有效提升文章的整体质感。
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