2021年考研英语二大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语二大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2021年考研英语二真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

This bar chart orderly arranges the percentage distribution of residents" physical exercise methords, displaying that solo exercise takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercising with family members, group exercise are also considered, accounting for 23.9%, 15.8%.

Several factors could weigh heavily for self-guided physical exercise, yet suspended at the top of the list are the following two aspects. To begin with, it has been widely accepted that fitness has a beneficial influence on physical and mental health. Engaging in solo exercise serves as a catalyst for self-control, enabling people to focuse on targets. Additionally, some personal people prefer exercising alone to enjoy being alone and relaxing mentally, as it provides a chance to relieve stress.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and turthfully reflect the choices of residents, serving as a microusm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： methords

批改：...residents" physical exercise methords...：存在拼写错误，methords 应为 methods。

原文：factors

批改：用词优化，“exercising with family members” 和 “group exercise” 是运动方式而非 “因素”，建议改为 “other methods including exercising with family members and group exercise”（“other methods” 衔接前文，逻辑通顺）

原文： 23.9%, 15.8%

批改：缺少 “respectively”，应改为 “accounting for 23.9% and 15.8% respectively”

批改：本段基本完成了数据描述的任务，涵盖了所有四种锻炼方式及其数据，但是部分细节可以继续优化~

原文： focuse

批改：focuse 拼写错误，应为 focus

原文：some personal people

批改：建议是some individuals 或 some people

批改：本段试图分析“独自锻炼”流行的原因，方向正确，个别表述可以再优化一下。

原文： turthfully

批改：拼写错误，turthfully 应为 truthfully

原文：microusm

批改：microusm 应为 microcosm

批改：本段对未来趋势做出了判断，但出现拼写错误

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11/15分

本文结构完整，能够描述图表数据并针对主要现象（独自锻炼）进行分析，也尝试使用了一些复杂词汇。然而，文章存在优化空间。首先，语言问题包括多处拼写错误、用词不当和表达不地道，这影响了文章的流畅度和专业性。其次，在内容论证上，原因分析不够深入，原因分析仅聚焦单一运动方式，未兼顾图表中 “与朋友 / 家人运动” 等其他重要信息，论证不够全面。总体而言，文章框架尚可，但语言细节和论述的深度可以成为未来的加分点。

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2021年考研英语二批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语二大作文冲刺保驾护航。