考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2021年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一写作技巧话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy, wearing the Monkey King costume and saying to his father," Dad, many of my classmates think learning opera is boring,"while his father encourages the child. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is sticking to oneself that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought- provoking inseveral ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, sticking to oneself can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self- consuming. On the other hand, abndon is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress,depriving them of the ability to think in dependently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, sticking to oneself is the catalyst forpersonal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential,fulfill our aspirations and create a happier life.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy, wearing the Monkey King costume and saying to his father," Dad, many of my classmates think learning opera is boring,"while his father encourages the child. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is sticking to oneself that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:abndon
批改:动名词做主语abandoning
原文: in dependently
批改:independently
原文:This phenomenon is thought- provoking inseveral ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, sticking to oneself can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self- consuming. On the other hand, abndon is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress,depriving them of the ability to think in dependently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
批改:能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点,能够运用逻辑关系词,使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。
原文:In brief, sticking to oneself is the catalyst forpersonal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential,fulfill our aspirations and create a happier life.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:18/20
内容切题,全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,注意动名词做主语。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。
如果你也想让自己的考研英语一作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语一写作技巧高分资料礼包。
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