本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2023年考研英语二高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The line clearly depicts the health lever of citicents in our country from 2012s
to 2021s. In 2012s, the percentage was approximately 8.80%, but by 2021s, this rate had substantially risen to 25.4%.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering People"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of change, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound health system, enabling citicents to have ample opportunities for rising health literacy. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the line is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of the health lever of citicents is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:lever of citicents in our country from 2012s to 2021s. In 2012s, the percentage was ap
批改:“lever” 是“杠杆”,水平应为 “level”;“citicents” 是 “citizens” 的拼写错误。
原文:line clearly depicts the health lever of citicents in our country from 2012s to 2021s. In 2012s, the percentage was approximately 8.80%, but by 2021s, this rate had substantially risen to 25.4%.
批改:你准确地抓住了图表的核心数据与时间跨度,并清晰地呈现了变化趋势
原文: People"s behavio
批改:“People"s” 作为普通名词,首字母不应大写。
原文:core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering People"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of change, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound health system, enabling citicents to have ample opportunities for rising health literacy. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the line is unsurprising.
批改:原因分析段的结构非常出色!你从“公共事件影响”和“政府政策支持”两个宏观层面展开论证,这两个角度都非常有说服力。
原文: lever of citicents is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following
批改:“lever” 应为 “level”;“citicents” 应为 “citizens”。
原文:t about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of the health lever of citicents is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:你对未来表达了积极的展望,并给出了明确的预测,完成了结尾段的任务
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12分
总分与总评
这篇作文内容完整,结构清晰,逻辑连贯,较好地完成了试题规定的任务。但在词汇准确性方面存在一些错误。
总评与修改建议:
这篇作文最突出的优点是清晰的结构和具有说服力的分析角度。你不仅能准确地描述数据趋势,还能从重大公共事件和国家政策的高度来分析现象背后的原因,这体现了你优秀的逻辑思维。
建议重点巩固图表作文中的高频核心词汇,如 citizens, level, government, improve 等。在动笔前,先确保这些词的拼写是正确的。这是提升作文质量和得分最有效的方法之一。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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