启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2021年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中,老师对每一句都给出修改建议,是考研英语一大作文备考资料库中的精品,特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy wearing a special clothes and saying to his father that his classmaters think singing show is not interesting, while his father reply him that it is enough that you like it. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is personal interested that play a important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, personal interested ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, neglecting personal interested is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, personal interested is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. There fore, we should actively support and advocate this quality. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: a special clothe
批改:“a special clothes” 中,“clothes”是复数名词,不应与单数冠词 “a” 连用,应改为 “a special piece of clothing” 或 “special clothes”。
原文:classmaters t
批改:“classmaters” 是 “classmates” 的拼写错误。
原文:his father reply him
批改:“his father reply him” 中,动词 “reply” 应用第三人称单数 “replies”,且 “reply” 是不及物动词,后面接人时要加 “to”,即 “replies to him”。
原文:personal interested th
批改:“personal interested” 应改为名词形式 “personal interests”;随后 “play a important...” 中,由于 “important” 以元音开头,冠词应使用 “an”。
原文:s shown in the cartoon, there is a boy wearing a special clothes and saying to his father that his classmaters think singing show is not interesting, while his father reply him that it is enough that you like it. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is personal interested that play a important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:你成功地描述了漫画中的关键对话和情节,并清晰地提炼出了核心寓意,这非常棒!主要的提升点在于确保词性、动词搭配和冠词使用的准确性。
原文:, personal interested i
批改:本段的核心问题在于 “personal interested” 的重复错误,应全部修正为 “personal interests”。第一句中的 “interests” 是复数,谓语动词 “ignite” 使用正确。
原文:s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, personal interested ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, neglecting personal interested is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
批改:原因分析段的结构堪称典范!你从“培养兴趣的益处”和“忽视兴趣的危害”正反两方面进行论证,对比鲜明,思辨性极强。所使用的比喻和词汇都展现了很高的语言驾驭能力。仅需在核心名词的词性上稍作调整,此段便近乎完美。
原文:rsonal intereste
批改:结尾段首句再次出现 “personal interested”,应改为 “personal interest” (此处作为抽象概念可用单数) 或 “personal interests”。
原文:There fore,
批改:“There fore” 应合并为 “Therefore”。
原文: brief, personal interested is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. There fore, we should actively support and advocate this quality. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.
批改:结尾段总结精炼,立意高远,并发出了有力的呼吁
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16分
总分与总评
这篇作文内容切题,结构完整,层次清晰,熟练地使用了丰富的语法结构和高级词汇。主要的失分点在于核心词汇“interest”词性的重复错误。
总评与修改建议:
你这篇作文给我留下了非常深刻的印象。最突出的优点在于你深刻的辩证思维和成熟的语言风格。你不仅能构建严谨的框架,还能运用生动比喻(heavy chain, catalyst)和精准词汇(self-consuming, self-fulfillment)进行富有哲理的论证,这已经达到了十分优秀的水平。
请务必区分动词 “interest”、形容词 “interesting/interested” 和名词 “interest”(可数,指具体爱好)与 “interests”(复数,指多种爱好)。在写作时,可以有意识地提醒自己检查这个词的使用。这是通往更高分数段需要扫清的一个关键障碍。
在完成写作后,可以进行一次快速的“词性专项检查”,重点关注这类你已掌握其意义但容易在形式上出错的抽象名词。
考研英语一大作文写作提分高效的方式,是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业,真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目,让考研英语写作更有底。
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