本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2013年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a group of university graduates, standing at the road of future and facing four different choices: seeking for a job, taking postgraduate entrance exams, starting a business and going abroad. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is choosing a suitable path that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, choosing a suitable path can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, choosing a wrong path is like a heavy chain that hinders our progress, leaving us with a negative outlook on life and preventing us from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential, fulfill our aspirations and create a happier life.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there is a group of university graduates, standing at the road of future and facing four different choices: seeking for a job, taking postgraduate entrance exams, starting a business and going abroad.
批改:清晰地描述了漫画中的场景,准确指出大学毕业生面临的选择,为后文阐述观点做铺垫。
原文:Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is choosing a suitable path that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:准确解读了漫画的意图,使用了强调句型“it is...that...”来突出“选择合适的道路”这一关键信息,语法结构较为复杂,展示了一定的语言能力。
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.
批改:承上启下,自然地引出下文对这一现象的深入分析,起到了很好的过渡作用。
原文:On the one hand, choosing a suitable path can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.
批改:从正面阐述了选择合适道路的好处,使用了“ignite”“promote”等较为高级的词汇,丰富了表达。“thus making...rather than being...”的结构也使句子逻辑清晰。
原文:On the other hand, choosing a wrong path is like a heavy chain that hinders our progress, leaving us with a negative outlook on life and preventing us from shining brightly in future society.
批改:从反面论述了选择错误道路的危害,运用比喻的修辞手法“is like a heavy chain”,使表达更生动形象。“leaving...and preventing...”的并列结构也增强了句子的表现力。
原文:In brief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit.
批改:总结前文观点,用“catalyst”一词形象地说明了选择合适道路对个人和社会发展的推动作用,“from which we all stand to benefit”的定语从句进一步强调了其益处。
原文:Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential, fulfill our aspirations and create a happier life.
批改:得出结论并提出建议,使用了“Only by doing so can we...”的倒装句型,突出了采取行动的必要性,增强了语气。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:18/20
题目要求:文章严格遵循题目要求,首先对漫画进行了简要描述,清晰指出大学毕业生站在未来之路,面临求职、考研、创业、出国四种不同选择。接着准确解读漫画意图,强调选择合适道路对个人生活和社会的重要积极作用。最后给出评论,呼吁积极支持选择合适道路这一行为,内容完整地覆盖了题目要求的三个方面。
语言表达:使用了“ignite(点燃)”“promote(促进)”“self - fulfillment(自我实现)”“catalyst(催化剂)”等较为高级的词汇,提升了文章的档次。运用了强调句型“it is...that...”,如“it is choosing a suitable path that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society”;倒装句型“Only by doing so can we...”,如“Only by doing so can we develop individual potential, fulfill our aspirations and create a happier life”;还有比喻句“choosing a wrong path is like a heavy chain that hinders our progress”,使文章表达生动形象,增强了语言的表现力。
内容层面:文章采用总分总的结构,开篇描述漫画并解读意图,中间从正反两个方面分析选择合适道路和错误道路的不同影响,结尾总结观点并提出建议,层次分明,逻辑连贯。
修改建议:继续保持
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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