想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数?研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2023年考研英语二批改范例,从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论,每一段都渗透着考研英语写作锦囊热点话题的得分要点。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The line chart clearly depicts of the level for our country"s residents health literacy from 2012 to 2021. In the 2012, the proportion of health literacy was 8.50%. But by 2021, the rate was substantially risen to 25.40%.
The core reasons of the observe phenomenon can be summarize as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestaring symphony of changes. Our government has maded tremendous effort to build a sound health literacy system, enabling residents have ample opportunities for further access healthy informations. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of flu has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly. altering people"s behaviors and choices, Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these reasons, the phenomenon in the chart was unspiring.
What about future trends? I am considered that this is a sign of social quickly changes and impovement and it will continue to substantially increase in following decades. This is our government and residents want to experience. China will become more and more healthy.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:depicts of
批改:“depicts of”中的介词“of”是多余的,直接使用“depicts the level”即可。
原文:n the 201
批改:“In the 2012”中的定冠词“the”不需要,直接说“In 2012”。
原文:rate was substantially risen t
批改:最后一句“the rate was substantially risen”的语态选择可以再斟酌。“rise”是不及物动词,很少用被动语态,这里用主动语态的“had risen”或“rose”会更自然。
原文:The line chart clearly depicts of the level for our country"s residents health literacy from 2012 to 2021. In the 2012, the proportion of health literacy was 8.50%. But by 2021, the rate was substantially risen to 25.40%.
批改:你准确地抓住了图表中最核心的数据,即起点和终点的数值,并点明了上升趋势,这为后续分析打下了很好的基础。
原文:s of t
批改:“reasons of”可以调整为更常见的搭配“reasons for”。
原文:observe p
批改:“observe”应改为过去分词“observed”作定语;“can be summarize”中,“summarize”应改为过去分词“summarized”以构成被动语态。
原文:orchestaring
批改:“orchestaring”拼写有误,应为“orchestrating”。此外,“as the conductor...”这个句子缺少谓语,它目前不是一个完整的句子。
原文:as made
批改:“has maded”应为“has made”;“effort”在这里作为可数名词,可以用复数形式“efforts”。
原文: enabling resid
批改:“enabling residents have”结构不完整,正确的搭配是“enabling somebody to do something”,所以这里应是“enabling residents to have”。
原文:access healthy
批改:“access”在这里是动词,后面应接名词,“healthy informations”中,“information”是不可数名词,且“健康的”修饰“信息”用“health information”更常见。
原文:unspiring
批改: “unspiring”拼写有误,推测应为“unsurprising”。
原文:he core reasons of the observe phenomenon can be summarize as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestaring symphony of changes. Our government has maded tremendous effort to build a sound health literacy system, enabling residents have ample opportunities for further access healthy informations. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of flu has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly. altering people"s behaviors and choices, Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these reasons, the phenomenon in the chart was unspiring.
批改:你从政府作用和公共事件两个角度分析原因,这个思路非常清晰,也切中了要点。这是本篇文章最大的亮点。
原文:social quickly cha
批改:“social quickly changes and impovement”中,词性使用可以调整,形容词不能修饰形容词,可以改为“rapid social changes and improvement”。“impovement”拼写有误,应为“improvement”。
原文:at about future trends? I am considered that this is a sign of social quickly changes and impovement and it will continue to substantially increase in following decades. This is our government and residents want to experience. China will become more and more healthy.
批改:你对未来表达了积极的展望,并且尝试将个人健康与国家发展联系起来,体现了思维的深度
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分
总分与总评
这篇作文基本完成了试题规定的任务,但在语法结构、词汇准确性和衔接方面存在问题,影响了表达的流畅度。
总评与修改建议:
你的作文最突出的优点是逻辑脉络清晰——描述现状、分析原因、展望未来,这个结构非常棒!你选择的分析角度(政府、社会事件)也十分到位。
为了让你已经有的好想法能更准确地呈现出来,老师建议你接下来重点做两件事:
巩固语法基础:特别关注动词的用法(时态、语态、非谓语动词)和句子的完整性(一个句子必须有谓语)。
积累核心搭配:有意识地记忆一些作文中常用的名词短语(如health literacy, social changes)和动词搭配(如enable sb to do, pay attention to)
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