进入冲刺阶段,每一份考研英语写作技巧写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2011年考研英语一批改范例,由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批,已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语一一还是考研英语一二考生,都能从中找到提分灵感。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the picture, there are two people sitting on the boat and throwing rubbish into the river, which make the river very dirty. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particulary significant. On the one hand, a good natural environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a cruical cornerstone for safeguarding public health, further propelling social society stability and sustainable development. On the other hand,although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of convenience, have disregarded the virtue of protect the environment.
How can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, incuding enhancing supervision and issuing related laws. But would these measures be
comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effiectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:make
批改:which指代前面这件事,应该是单数,make改成makes
原文:As shown in the picture, there are two people sitting on the boat and throwing rubbish into the river, which make the river very dirty. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:society
批改:多余,去掉
原文:protect
批改:of是介词,改成protecting
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particulary significant. On the one hand, a good natural environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a cruical cornerstone for safeguarding public health, further propelling social society stability and sustainable development. On the other hand,although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of convenience, have disregarded the virtue of protect the environment.
批改:论述的内容较为全面,运用逻辑关系词使得句与句之间衔接较为紧密。注意避免小的语言错误。
原文:incuding
批改:including
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, incuding enhancing supervision and issuing related laws. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effiectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误以及介词的正确使用;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,注意主谓一致问题。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务,针对考研英语一大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后,欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育,享受考研英语写作技巧高分批改。
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