考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

2016年考研英语一大作文围绕哪一类话题命题？本文精选的范文聚焦考研英语一写作冲刺话题方向，结合启航教育多年考研英语一教学沉淀，从描述图表、解读寓意到发表评论三大角度，完整呈现高分作文的内在结构。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand picture, there is a father watching the TV and saying “study hard, son". On the contrary, in the right-hand,portrayal,there is a father working hard with his son. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is set a good exemple that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought- provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, setting a good exemple can ignite children"s creativity. and promote personal growth and self-ifulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful.,rather than being self-consuming .On the other hand, a bad exemple is like a heavy chain that himders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, setting a good exemple is the catalyse for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we fulfill ous aspirations and create a happier life.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：,

批改：逗号去掉

原文：set

批改：改成setting，动名词做主语

原文：exemple

批改：example

原文：In the left-hand picture, there is a father watching the TV and saying “study hard, son". On the contrary, in the right-hand,portrayal,there is a father working hard with his son. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is set a good exemple that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

批改：逗号

原文：ifulfillment

批改：fulfillment

原文：This phenomenon is thought- provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, setting a good exemple can ignite children"s creativity. and promote personal growth and self-ifulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful.,rather than being self-consuming .On the other hand, a bad exemple is like a heavy chain that himders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：catalyse

批改：catalyst

原文：ous

批改：our

原文：In brief, setting a good exemple is the catalyse for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we fulfill ous aspirations and create a happier life.

批改：该段再次总结强调写作的中心，起到了点题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，动词不能做主语，动名词才能做主语。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

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