据启航教育英语教研组统计,考研英语作文批改话题连续多年成为考研英语二大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2021年考研英语二批改例文中,考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达,获得高分,其写作思路可供2027考研英语二考生直接借鉴。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the physical exercise methods of residents in a city. Exercise alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercise with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as expercise with families and group activity are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement are of society, people are no longer content with mere material statisfaction; they also pursue spirital and physical enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people choose exercising out door rather than staying at home. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of people, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the physical exercise methods of residents in a city. Exercise alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercise with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as expercise with families and group activity are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.
批改:本段清晰地列出了图表中的各项数据,要点齐全,结构清晰
原文: core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement are of society, people are no longer content with mere material statisfaction; they also pursue spirital and physical enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people choose exercising out door rather than staying at home. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health.
批改:你从社会进步和健康意识两个角度分析原因,这个思路很好
原文:in the wake of the high-speed a
批改:“in the wake of the high-speed advancement are of society” 这个结构存在语法错误,可以简化为 “with the rapid advancement of society”。“This explains why...” 这句话试图建立因果,但“追求精神享受”与“选择户外锻炼”之间的逻辑链条可以更直接、更紧密一些。
原文: statisfaction; they also pursue spirital and physical enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people choose exercising out door rather than staying at home. In addition, as we all kn
批改:statisfaction” 是 “satisfaction” 的拼写错误。“spirital” 是 “spiritual” 的拼写错误。“out door” 应合并为 “outdoors”。
原文:hat about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of people, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:结尾段对未来趋势做出了预测,并尝试对数据意义进行升华,这很好。“a microcosm of the changes in the era”这个表达非常出彩。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11
你的作文完成了主要的任务,结构清晰,且有不错的观点输出。主要的提升空间在于语法准确性、拼写和逻辑衔接。
总评与建议:
同学,你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你开阔的视野和联系现实的能力。你能将图表数据与社会价值观转变、新冠疫情等宏大主题相结合,这体现了很强的思辨能力,这是非常可贵的优点。
当前,我们可以集中精力提升语言的准确性与逻辑的严谨性。你的宏观思路很好,现在需要让微观的语法和论证与之匹配。我的核心建议是:
仔细检查拼写:请特别关注高频词的拼写。完成初稿后,快速通读一遍,这能立即避免很多不必要的失分。
理清因果链条:在分析原因时,确保你给出的理由能直接解释图表中的具体现象。可以尝试在心里问自己“这个原因具体解释了哪个数据?”,这样能使分析更聚焦。
夯实语法基础:注意句子结构的完整性和介词的用法。
复习考研英语大作文,务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,专为冲刺阶段考生打造,从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全,是考研英语作文批改写作提分的可靠方案。
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