2014年考研英语二大作文的评分标准严格,对图表描述、主题提炼与观点阐述三大能力均有考查。本文精选的这篇高分批改范例,全程贯彻考研英语二写作冲刺写作锦囊的核心要点,可作为考研英语写作的标杆范文。
一、2014年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2014年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、2014年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the urben population and rural population of China from 1990 to 2010.In 1990, the number of urben population is only 300 million,but by 2010, this figure had gradually risen to 666 million. In contrast, the number of rural population experienced significant decline about 160 million during the same period.
The core reasons for the observed the phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound employment system in urben cities, which enables rural residents to have rich opportunities to find jobs.In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, working in urben cities is indispensable if they want to achieve success in the long run.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I believe that the number of urban population will steadily increase in the following decade. And the number of rural population will likely continue to decline.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:urben
批改:正确写法为 urban
原文:urben
批改:改为 urban
原文:is
批改:注意时态,这里用 was
原文:experienced significant decline
批改:改为 significantly declined by...
原文:The bar chart clearly depicts the urben population and rural population of China from 1990 to 2010.
批改:首段概括图表内容,也可以说 “The bar chart highlights the change of urban and rural population in 1990 and 2010.”
原文:the
批改:删去
原文:urben cities
批改:改为 urban areas
原文:find jobs
批改:也可以说 seek for new jobs
原文:urben cities
批改:改为 urban areas
原文:likely
批改:删去
原文:n 1990, the number of urben population is only 300 million,but by 2010, this figure had gradually risen to 666 million. In contrast, the number of rural population experienced significant decline about 160 million during the same period.
批改:描述图表中的变化及相互关系时,一是表达可以尽量灵活,“人口”除了population,还可以用其他表类似含义的词,如residents;二是多积累表变化的动词、形容词、副词,也可以灵活转换词性,如decline就既可以作名词又可作动词,掌握一个词的多种用法会有利于让表达更自如;三表对比关系还可以用while,如 "The number of urban residents had surged from 300 million to 666 million during the past two decades while residents in rural areas had significantly decreased by 160 million at the same time."
原文:increase
批改:多积累可替换的表达,除了increase,还可以用grow
原文:The core reasons for the observed the phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound employment system in urben cities, which enables rural residents to have rich opportunities to find jobs.In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, working in urben cities is indispensable if they want to achieve success in the long run.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:本段分析了产生图中现象的原因,就业这一角度把握的很好,建议先从图中的变化提取出观点”城镇人口不断增加,乡村人口不断减少“,再以“国家——企业——个人”的逻辑展开,如:1.就业和人才政策完善,人才福利多,鼓励更多人前往大城市发展;2.城市交通便利、资源丰富、消费需求旺盛等优势吸引更多企业入驻,也为人们从农村迁往城市寻求更多就业机会提供了契机;3.从个人衣食住行方面来说,城市服务水平较高,可以满足人们日益增长的各项需求
原文:What about future trends? I believe that the number of urban population will steadily increase in the following decade. And the number of rural population will likely continue to decline.
批改:结尾进行了预测,未来城镇人口将继续增加
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:7/15
1)内容上:描述了图表内容,但分析原因的角度不够全面;
2)语言上:表达可以更灵活一些,词汇驾驭和句子组织有待加强;
3)结构上:有意识地使用逻辑衔接词,但缺乏论述逻辑;
4)学习建议:
文中主要围绕”城镇人口增加,乡村人口减少“这一趋势,分析“为什么”会产生这一变化,可以从“国家发展、城乡变迁和人们衣食住行”等角度展开论述逻辑。一是内容上可以举出具体例子如“大城市交通便利、基础设施完善、服务水平较高、就业机会多,促使城市人口增加”,最好把这些逻辑都串联起来,分点逐条阐述;二是表达上要尽量简洁、灵活,多用转述、同义替换,先把基础的句子架构组织起来,再尝试拓展更多句型句式,建议一一对照我给出的批注修改,复盘总结图表类作文常用表达,相信之后会有很大进步,继续加油!
启航教育坚持『专业·敬业·服务好』的理念,深耕考研英语教研多年。本文精解的2014年考研英语二范文仅是冰山一角,更多考研英语二写作冲刺高分资料与免费批改服务,期待与每一位2027考研人在在线咨询中相遇。
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