作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2015年考研英语二大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语二作文范文常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、2015年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2015年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2015年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The pie chart clearly depicts the percentage breakdown of different expenses during the Spring Festival for the residents in a certain city.According to the data shown, about 40% expense is the gifts. Transportation, gathering and the others occupy 20%, 20%, 20% respectively.
To show their love to the people they cherish,
people are willing to take great efforts in choosing the suitable presents. What"s more, with the rapid development of the economy, more and more people can afford some items which they thought it was expensive and had burden. Because of the development, the transport becomes more and more convenient so that the risidents can go on a journey easily. As a traditional activity,gathering at the Spring Festival seems to be more meaningful and necessary than norm. During the feast,people bless each other and wish for a better life in the next year.
Above all, I"m confident that the statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents during the Spring Festival, serving as microcosm of the changes in the era,and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: about 40% expense is the gifts
批改:不自然Gifts account for approximately 40%
原文:about 40% expense is the gifts. Transportation, gathering and the others occupy 20%, 20%, 20% respectively.
批改:这两句用从句连接更好 while transportation, gatherings, and other expenses each represent 20%.
原文:in choosing the
批改:to choose
原文:which they thought it was expensive and had burden
批改:which they thought it was重复了,改成which they once deemed too expensive or burdensome更好
原文:gathering
批改:可数 用复数
原文: than norm.
批改:than before
原文:To show their love to the people they cherish, people are willing to take great efforts in choosing the suitable presents. What"s more, with the rapid development of the economy, more and more people can afford some items which they thought it was expensive and had burden. Because of the development, the transport becomes more and more convenient so that the risidents can go on a journey easily. As a traditional activity,gathering at the Spring Festival seems to be more meaningful and necessary than norm. During the feast,people bless each other and wish for a better life in the next year.
批改:很棒,使用自己的语言写,词汇和句法结构丰富。
原文:Above all, I"m confident that the statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents during the Spring Festival, serving as microcosm of the changes in the era,and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:预测趋势,呼应主题
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10/15分。
1. 题目要求:作文内容包含全面,主题明确,层次分明;
2. 语言表达:运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇,状语从句,定语从句,非谓语结构和宾语从句句型很棒;
3. 行文逻辑:建议加入逻辑词,使行文流畅,内容连贯;
4. 建议:文章原创度很高,值得鼓励,同时继续深入学习老师讲的高分词汇和模板句型,,整合成自己的思路和素材,进一步丰富内容表达,加油!
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