本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2024年考研英语二高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、2024年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2024年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the main have survey of students in high school of lober class Studing realted things takes the lead at 91.3%, followed by highten move hands at 84.8%. Additionally, factors such as feeling good mood andrisen corportion are also considered, accounting for 54.4% and 32.6%, respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, an increasing number of students believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, study is indispensable if the wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education system, enabling students to have ample opportunities for study. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflot the choices of students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:eflot the choices of students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the fol
批改:结尾段简洁有力,预测合理
原文:eflot the
批改:reflot -> reflect (拼写错误)
原文:ns for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, an increasing number of students believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, study is indispensable if the wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education system, enabling students to have ample opportunities for study. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:本段的原因分析框架清晰,过渡词使用得当。通过修正微小的语法错误,并让论述更具体地指向“劳动实践”这一主题,分析的针对性和说服力会更强。
原文: if the wish to
批改:if the wish -> if they wish (代词笔误) as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes 这个比喻很有文采,但 the symphony 前最好加上物主代词,如 the symphony of societal changes,使意象更完整。
原文:chool of lober class Studing realted things takes the lead at 91.3%, followed by highten move hands at 84.8%. Additionally, factors such as feeling good mood andrisen corportion are also considered, accounting for 54.4% and 32.6%, respectively.
批改:第一段的任务是客观描述图表信息
原文:rt clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the main have survey of students in high school of lober class Studing realted things takes the lead at 91.3%, followed by highten move hands at 84.8%. Additionally, factors such as feeling good mood andrisen corportion are also considered,
批改:本段的表意因大量拼写和用词错误而变得模糊。我们一起来理清核心意思并修正: main have survey of students in high school of lober class -> main gains of students from a high school labor practice class (指“高中生劳动课的主要收获”) Studing realted things -> Acquiring relevant knowledge (学习相关知识) highten move hands -> Improving practical skills (提升动手能力) feeling good mood -> Experiencing enjoyment (感到愉悦) risen corportion -> Enhancing cooperation (提升协作能力)
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11
同学,你的作文有一个非常清晰的逻辑结构,这是你最大的优点!同时,你也在有意识地运用高级句式和词汇(如 a microcosm of the changes in the era)。
当前,影响你分数进一步提升的关键在于词汇拼写的准确性与基础语法的稳固性。你的好想法和清晰结构被一些基础的拼写错误掩盖了。
为了帮助你有效提升,老师建议:
夯实词汇基础:请特别关注核心词汇的正确拼写。在完成写作后,如果时间允许,建议你专门快速检查一遍名词、动词和主题关键词的拼写。这是当前最能立刻提升你作文得分的最有效方法。
优化论述的针对性:在分析原因时,可以多问自己一句:“我分析的这一点,是如何具体解释‘劳动实践课’(而非普通文化课)的收获的?”,这能让你的论证更切题。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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