启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2023年考研英语二大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中,老师对每一句都给出修改建议,是考研英语二作文模板备考资料库中的精品,特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The line chart clearly depicts the level of health literacy of residents in China from 2012 to 2021. In 2012, the percentage of the level of health literacy was 8.80%, but by 2015, this rate had gradally risen to 10.25%. In contrast, the proportion of the level of health literacy experienced a signficant increase of 13.82% from 2016 to 2021.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, an increasing number of residents believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, health is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of the level of residents of health literacy is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:ut future trends? I am confident that the proportion of the level of residents of health literacy is a clear sig
批改:结尾段对未来做出了合理的预测
原文:asing number of residents believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, health is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:本段从个人认知和公共事件(疫情)两个角度分析原因,这个分析框架是合理的。可以进一步提升的地方是论证的深度和独特性。第一个原因(健康对成功很重要)是普遍认知,可以更具体地联系到“健康素养”本身,例如,说明人们意识到主动学习健康知识(即提升健康素养)比被动看病更重要。第二个原因(疫情)点得很好,可以再深入一句,说明疫情如何促使人们主动去了解公共卫生知识、提高辨别健康信息的能力,从而直接推高了“健康素养”。
原文: Consequently an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. Consid
批改:Consequently-> Consequently, (后面加逗号) paying more attention to health-> paying more attention to their health (语意更完整)
原文: the percentage of the level of health literacy was 8.80%, but by 2015, this rate had gradally risen to 10.25%. In contrast, the proportion of the level of health literacy experienced a signficant increase of 13.82% from 2016 to 2021.
批改:你准确地捕捉了数据及其变化趋势,这很好。提升的关键在于让描述更简洁、专业。避免重复“the level of health literacy”这样的长词组,并使用更精准的逻辑连接词。
原文:radally risen to 10.25%. In contrast, the proportion of the level of health literacy experienced a signficant increase
批改:gradally-> gradually (拼写错误) signficant-> significant (拼写错误) the percentage of the level of health literacy-> 这个表达有些重复和拗口。可以简化为更地道的:the health literacy rate。图表描述的就是这个比率,所以直接说“the rate”或“it”即可。 In contrast-> 这个词表示对比转折,但2012-2015年的“逐渐上升”和2016-2021年的“显著上升”是程度的递进,并非对立。使用 Furthermore, 或 Meanwhile, 来顺承会更合适。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11
你的作文最显著的优点是结构稳定、逻辑通顺。下一步的冲刺目标应该是追求更高的表达精度与论证深度。
在描述数据和现象时,追求最简洁、最地道的表达方式,避免不必要的重复。
在提出普遍性原因后,尝试再向前推进一步,将其与题目中的具体现象(健康素养提升)建立更独特、更紧密的联系,避免泛泛而谈。
考研英语二作文模板写作提分高效的方式,是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业,真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目,让考研英语写作更有底。
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