想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数?研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2021年考研英语一批改范例,从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论,每一段都渗透着考研英语写作技巧热点话题的得分要点。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
As shown is the cartoon, there is a boy, wearing Peking Opera costume, saying others think learning it is not fun, while his father tell him that it is enough as long as himself like it. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that sticking to oneself that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, sticking to oneself can help us focus on our passions and fuels our determination, thus living a fulfilling life. On the other hand, blingly following others not only hinders one"s success, but also acts as a fatal weakness that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stone towards hell.
In brief, sticking to oneself is the catalyst for personal, form which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality, additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of blingly following others to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown is the cartoon, there is a boy, wearing Peking Opera costume, saying others think learning it is not fun, while his father tell him that it is enough as long as himself like it.
批改:“As shown is the cartoon”表述错误,正确的是“As shown in the cartoon”。 “his father tell him”中“father”是第三人称单数,动词应该用“tells”。 “as long as himself like it”表述错误,应该是“as long as he likes it”。
原文:Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that sticking to oneself that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:句子结构混乱,“sticking to oneself”后面又接“that plays...”导致句子表意不清。 建议调整句子结构,可改为“Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that sticking to oneself plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.”
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.
批改:此句起到承上启下的过渡作用,表达清晰,语法正确。
原文:On the one hand, sticking to oneself can help us focus on our passions and fuels our determination, thus living a fulfilling life.
批改:“fuels”与前面的“can help”并列,但“can help”后面接动词原形,这里“fuels”形式错误,应改为“fuel”。
原文:On the other hand, blingly following others not only hinders one"s success, but also acts as a fatal weakness that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stone towards hell.
批改:“blingly”拼写错误,应该是“blindly”。
原文:In brief, sticking to oneself is the catalyst for personal, form which we all stand to benefit.
批改:“personal”后面缺少名词,应该是“personal growth”;“form”拼写错误,应该是“from”。
原文:Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality, additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of blingly following others to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:“blingly”拼写错误,应是“blindly”。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13/20
题目要求:文章基本遵循了题目要求,完成了三个关键任务。开篇对漫画进行了描述,呈现出男孩身着京剧服装,表达他人觉得学京剧无趣,而父亲告知只要自己喜欢就足够的画面;中间部分解读了漫画隐含意义,指出坚持自我对个人生活和社会有重要作用;结尾给出了自己的评论,倡导支持坚持自我并警惕盲目跟从他人。整体结构完整,符合题目设定的写作框架。
语言表达:一些观点阐述的语句较为清晰易懂,例如“On the one hand, sticking to oneself can help us focus on our passions and fuel our determination, thus living a fulfilling life”,准确表达了坚持自我能带来的积极影响。
内容层面:能够紧扣“坚持自我”这一主题展开论述,从个人和社会两个角度阐述了坚持自我的重要性,以及盲目跟从他人的危害,使文章具有一定的深度和广度。
修改建议:在完成作文后,认真检查每一个单词的拼写,确保没有拼写错误。
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