思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2023年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The e chart clearly depicts the level of residential health literacy in China from 2012 to 20y. In 2012, the percentage of the level of residential health literacy was 8.80%, but by 2021, the rate had substancially risen to 25.40%.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. In addition, an increasing number of people believe that in mordern society full of changes, challenges and chances, keeping themselves body more healthy is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of the level of residential health literacy is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:chart clearly depicts the level of residential health literacy in China from 2012 to 20y. In 2012, the percentage of the level of residential health literacy was 8.80%, but by 2021, the rate had substancially risen to 25.40%.
批改:开篇段准确地描述了图表的核心数据,并清晰地指出了增长趋势。使用“substantially risen”这样的词汇,有效地强调了变化的程度。
原文:e e chart clearly depicts the level of residential health literacy in China from 2012 to 20y.
批改:The e chart:这里可能是笔误,定冠词“The”多余了,直接使用 The chart 即可。 from 2012 to 20y:这里“20y”的表述不完整,根据上下文,应该是 2021。
原文:bstancial
批改:substancially:这个单词拼写有误,少了一个“t”,正确的拼写是 substantially。
原文:core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. In addition, an increasing number of people believe that in mordern society full of changes, challenges and chances, keeping themselves body more healthy is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsur
批改:本段从“疫情的影响”和“个人发展的需求”两个角度分析原因,思路清晰,逻辑层次分明。使用“To start with”和“In addition”进行衔接,让段落结构一目了然。
原文:ordern s
批改:mordern:有一个小小的拼写错误,正确拼写是 modern。
原文:hat about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of the level of residential health literacy is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:结尾段通过一个简洁的设问句自然引出,并对未来趋势做出了明确的、积极的预测。将健康素养水平与社会进步联系起来
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11
内容要点: 你完整地覆盖了所有内容要点。
语法与词汇: 你使用了一些较丰富的语法结构和词汇(如“depicts", "substantially", "indispensable")。
语言准确性: 文章流畅易懂,存在少数几处拼写和搭配可以优化,但不影响整体理解。
连贯与衔接: 段落层次清晰,有效地使用了“To start with", "In addition”, “Consequently”等衔接手法。
总体修改建议:
同学,你的作文最突出的优点是逻辑框架非常扎实,从描述到分析再到展望,每一步都衔接得很稳,这为获得好分数打下了坚实的基础。
现阶段,我们可以将提升的重点放在 “语言的简洁与精准” 上。你已经有很好的意识去组织内容,下一步是让每个句子都更加精炼有力。我建议你:
避免重复表达:在写作时,有意识地检查相邻的句子中是否有意思重复的短语(如“the percentage of the level”),尝试用代词(it, this figure)或更简洁的同义词来替换。
关注核心词汇的拼写:将“modern", "substantially”等高频词汇的拼写记牢,避免不必要的失分。
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2023年考研英语二范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。
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