正在备考考研英语的你,是否还在为2015年考研英语二大作文的写法犯愁?本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文,系统梳理考研英语作文万能句型的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评,你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。
一、2015年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2015年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2015年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the consumption at Spring Festival in one city.New year’s present take the lead at 40%.Unexpectedly,traffic,diner together and others accounting 20%.
The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.In the wake of the high-speed advancement of society,people’s attitudes toward life are no longer content with mere material satisfaction;they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why more people would like to travel in the spring festival.To start with, as the saying goes,”On life"s stage, pressure is always present.”Nowadays, social young men are compelled to confront immense social pressure, and as a result, travel has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.In addition,against the backdrop of our country’s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation,particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s,are accustomed to exchange gifts and have become the primary consumer group.What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of people during the festival , serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:w year’s present
批改:New year’s present take (主谓不一致,应为 presents take 或 present takes)
原文:diner together and others accounting 20%.
批改:diner (应为 dining),accounting (语法错误,应为 account for)。
原文:e chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the consumption at Spring Festival in one city.New year’s present take the lead at 40%.Unexpectedly,traffic,diner together and others accounting 20
批改:这一段完成了描述图表核心信息的任务,但出现了几处关键的语法和拼写错误,影响了表达的准确性。你需要特别注意主谓一致和句子结构的完整性(一个句子必须要有谓语动词)。同时,注意专有名词的大小写和标点符号的正确使用。
原文:This explains why m
批改:逻辑断裂:前文提到“精神享受”,这里直接跳到“旅游”,中间缺少衔接。可以改为:This pursuit of spiritual enjoyment explains why traveling has become a popular choice during the Spring Festival.
原文:ocial young men
批改:用词不当:social 通常不这样修饰人。想表达“社会的”或“年轻的社交男性”意思不明确。直接用 young people 或 the younger generation 更好。
原文:ccustomed t
批改:语法错误:be accustomed to 后面应接动名词 exchanging。
原文:re reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.In the wake of the high-speed advancement of society,people’s attitudes toward life are no longer content with mere material satisfaction;they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why more people would like to travel in the spring festival.To start with, as the saying goes,”On life"s stage, pressure is always present.”Nowadays, social young men are compelled to confront immense social pressure, and as a result, travel has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.In addition,against the backdrop of our country’s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation,particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s,are accustomed to exchange gifts and have become the primary consumer group.What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of people during the festival , serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:这一段的优点是思路开阔,能尝试使用复杂句式和高级词汇(如"microcosm")。但问题也很明显: 逻辑衔接:观点之间的连接不够紧密,比如从“精神享受”到“旅游”的跳跃。 用词准确性:部分词汇搭配不地道或使用错误。 内容聚焦:结尾部分偏离了“分析原因”的核心任务。 语法细节:需要注意 to 作为介词后接动名词的用法。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:9分
总评:
同学,你的这篇作文展现了你的潜力!你能够理解图表信息并展开有一定深度的分析,这是非常好的基础。但是,目前阻碍你获得更高分的主要障碍是语言的准确性和逻辑的连贯性。你的“想法”很好,但需要用更精准、地道的英语表达出来。
修改建议
夯实语法基础:请重点复习主谓一致、句子基本结构(确保每句话都有谓语动词) 以及“be accustomed to doing”这类固定搭配。
优化词汇使用:在记忆单词时,多留意它的常用搭配和语境。不确定的表达,宁可选择简单但准确的,也不用复杂但可能错误的。
理顺文章逻辑:在下笔前,先理清“现象-原因1-原因2”的逻辑线,确保每个论点都能自然衔接,并为解释图表现象服务。删除与核心任务无关的内容。
多加练习与模仿:多读一些优秀的范文,注意学习它们是如何用简洁地道的语言描述图表和分析原因的。坚持练习,你的进步一定会非常明显!
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