本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2019年考研英语二高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、2019年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2019年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2019年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the different choices of graduates at a certain university in 2013 and 2018.In 2013,the percentage of working was 68.1%. But by 2018, this rate had substantially decreased to 60.7%. In contrast, the proportion of those who choose to keep studying experienced a significant increase of 7.7% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of start on their own businesses remained stable and steady.
The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education system, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges , and chances, keep on studying is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicts phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising .
what about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of working will steadily decrease in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of keeping studying and start their own businesses will likely continue to increase.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The bar chart clearly depicts the different choices of graduates at a certain university in 2013 and 2018.
批改:开篇点明图表类型及核心内容,简洁明了,直接引出下文对图表数据的阐述,符合写作要求。
原文:In 2013,the percentage of working was 68.1%.
批改:准确给出2013年毕业生选择工作的比例数据,为后续对比做铺垫。
原文:But by 2018, this rate had substantially decreased to 60.7%.
批改:使用“but”进行转折,清晰地呈现出2018年与2013年工作比例的对比变化,“substantially decreased”准确描述了下降程度。
原文:In contrast, the proportion of those who choose to keep studying experienced a significant increase of 7.7% during the same period.
批改:通过“in contrast”与前文形成对比,明确指出选择继续深造的比例变化情况,“significant increase”准确描述上升程度,数据引用合理。
原文:Simultaneously, the percentage of start on their own businesses remained stable and steady.
批改:“the percentage of start”表述错误,应是“the percentage of those starting”
原文:The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
批改:过渡句,自然引出下文对现象原因的分析,使文章结构连贯。
原文: start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education system, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education.
批改:运用比喻的修辞手法,将政府比作指挥变化交响乐的指挥家,形象生动地说明政府在构建教育体系方面的作用,“made tremendous efforts”和“ample opportunities”表达准确。
原文:In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges , and chances, keep on studying is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run.
批改:进一步阐述原因,指出年轻人对持续学习重要性的认识,“in modern society full of...”结构合理,但“keep on studying”在此处作主语,应改为动名词形式“keeping on studying”。
原文:Considering these factors, the depicts phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising .
批改:总结前文原因,得出图表现象不足为奇的结论,“considering these factors”使用恰当,但“the depicts phenomenon”存在语法错误,应是“the depicted phenomenon”。
原文:what about future trends?
批改:以提问方式自然引出对未来趋势的探讨
原文:I am confident that the proportion of working will steadily decrease in the following decades.
批改:明确表达对未来工作比例下降趋势的看法,“be confident that”结构使用正确。
原文:In contrast, the proportion of keeping studying and start their own businesses will likely continue to increase.
批改:与前文形成对比,阐述对其他两种选择未来趋势的看法,但存在语法错误,“keeping studying”应改为“keeping on studying”,“start”应改为“starting”与前文“keeping on studying”并列。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10/15
题目要求:文章基本遵循了题目要求。开篇对图表进行了清晰的解读,分别阐述了 2013 年和 2018 年该大学毕业生在工作、继续深造以及自主创业这三种选择上的比例变化情况,满足了“interpret the chart”的要求。在评论部分,从政府政策推动教育体系完善以及年轻人对持续学习重要性的认识等角度分析了图表现象的原因,并对未来趋势进行了预测,完成了“give your comments”的任务。
语言表达:使用了一些较为丰富的词汇来描述数据变化,如“substantially decreased”“significant increase”“stable”等,准确地传达了数据的变化程度。在阐述原因时,也运用了“tremendous efforts”“ample opportunities”“indispensable”等词汇,使表达更加生动和正式。
内容层面:文章整体结构较为清晰,按照“图表解读—原因分析—趋势预测”的逻辑顺序展开论述,层次分明
修改建议:仔细检查并修正文中的语法错误,确保句子结构正确、用词准确。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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