想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数?研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2016年考研英语一批改范例,从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论,每一段都渗透着考研英语写作技巧热点话题的得分要点。
一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目
考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文
The two pictures contrastingly depict two scenarios of parent-child interaction regarding study. In the left picture, a parent is relaxing on the sofa, playing with a mobile phone and watching TV, while telling the child, “Son, study hard for me!” In the right picture, another parent is sitting at a desk, studying diligently with piles of books, and the child is also focused on learning.
These pictures intend to convey a profound message: rather than merely making demands, parents should set a good example for their children. Children tend to imitate their parents" behaviors. If parents only urge their kids to study while indulging in leisure activities themselves, the children may find it hard to take the demands seriously. On the contrary, when parents lead by example, children are more likely to develop a positive attitude toward learning.
From my perspective, this principle applies not only to family education but also to various aspects of life. Whether in teaching, management, or social interactions, actions speak louder than words. By setting a good example, we can inspire others more effectively and build a more harmonious environment.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The two pictures contrastingly depict two scenarios of parent-child interaction regarding study.
批改:此句清晰地表明了文章要描述的核心内容,即两幅图展现了不同的亲子学习互动场景,开篇点题,简洁明了。
原文:In the left picture, a parent is relaxing on the sofa, playing with a mobile phone and watching TV, while telling the child, “Son, study hard for me!”
批改:详细地描述了左图中家长的行为和语言,让读者能直观地想象出画面内容,为后文的分析做铺垫。
原文: In the right picture, another parent is sitting at a desk, studying diligently with piles of books, and the child is also focused on learning.
批改:同样详细地描述了右图的场景,与左图形成鲜明对比,使两幅图的差异更加突出。
原文:These pictures intend to convey a profound message: rather than merely making demands, parents should set a good example for their children.
批改:准确地概括了两幅图想要传达的深层含义,即家长不应只提要求,而要以身作则,起到了承上启下的作用。
原文:Children tend to imitate their parents" behaviors. If parents only urge their kids to study while indulging in leisure activities themselves, the children may find it hard to take the demands seriously.
批改:进一步阐述家长以身作则的原因,逻辑清晰,为后文的分析提供了依据。通过假设的情况,具体说明了家长只提要求、自身不作为的负面影响,增强了文章的说服力。
原文:On the contrary, when parents lead by example, children are more likely to develop a positive attitude toward learning.
批改:与前一句形成对比,强调了家长以身作则的积极作用,使论证更加全面。
原文:rom my perspective, this principle applies not only to family education but also to various aspects of life.
批改:将家长以身作则这一原则从家庭教育扩展到生活的各个方面,拓宽了文章的深度和广度。
原文:Whether in teaching, management, or social interactions, actions speak louder than words.
批改:具体列举了教学、管理和社会交往等方面,进一步说明以身作则的重要性,使观点更具普遍性。
原文:By setting a good example, we can inspire others more effectively and build a more harmonious environment.
批改:总结全文,强调以身作则带来的积极结果,使文章的主题得到升华。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:18/20
题目要求:这篇作文紧密围绕题目要求展开。题目要求描述图片、解读含义并给出评论,在文中首先清晰地对两幅展现亲子学习互动场景的图片进行了描述,能直观了解图片内容;接着准确解读出图片传达的“家长应以身作则”这一深刻含义;最后从家庭教育拓展到生活多方面,给出了自己的评论,整体上完全契合题目要求,在内容方向上没有偏差。
语言表达:表述简洁清晰,逻辑连贯词使用恰当。
内容层面:准确地解读出图片所蕴含的“家长以身作则”这一核心观点,并且从孩子善于模仿家长行为的角度出发,深入分析了家长只提要求而不以身作则的负面影响以及以身作则的积极作用,观点具有较强的说服力。
修改建议:继续保持!
想获得更多考研英语写作技巧高分范文与专业批改建议?启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已上线,36句锦囊妙句+6个写作模板+主讲亲批+AI智能批改+配套图书+社群伴学,系统化助力考研英语写作冲刺!在线咨询即可预约免费批改服务。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考