启航教育作为考研英语培训领域的知名品牌,每年都会整理发布当年的启航考研英语高分范文。本文呈现的2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文中,每一处失分点都已被老师精准订正,是2027考生不可错过的写作资料。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
As shown in the picture , there is a boy saying,” “dad ,many classmates think that learning singing opera is boring”. While,his father, with a clam expression,encourages him persist his interest.Apparently, this picture seeks to deep into the central issue of following your heart without caring other.
In my eyes, there are myraid of benefits of following your mind. Armed with a strong sense of that,individuals are motivated to push beyond their interest limitations and break free from the shackles of others ideals ,thus excelling at creating and innovating.By committing to the your own way,the boy can permitted to keep himself active engaged and incorporate Beijing Opera into their versatile skill set. Therefore,it can foster readiness to learn, bring brightness and promote the lifelong learning.
To recapitulate,the drawing serves as a somber reminder, it is advisable for us to follow our mind,take our destiny into our own hands.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:n in the picture , there is a boy saying,” “dad ,many classmates think that learning singing opera is boring”. While,his father, with a clam expression,encourages him persist his interest.Apparently, this picture seeks to deep into the central issue of following your heart without caring other.
批改:你成功描述了漫画场景并提炼出核心议题,这很好
原文:clam expression,encourages him persist his interest.Apparently, this picture seeks to deep into the
批改:clam 拼写错误,应为 calm。 encourages him persist 缺少不定式符号 to,应为 encourages him to persist。 deep into 中的 deep 是形容词/副词,这里需要动词 delve into。 caring other 后缺少宾语,应为 caring about others" opinions。
原文: myraid of benefits of following your mind. Armed with a strong sense of that,individuals are motivated to push beyond their interest limitations and break free from the shackles of others ideals ,th
批改:myraid 拼写错误,应为 myriad (大量的)。 a strong sense of that 中 that 指代不清,可改为 a strong sense of self-belief (强烈的自信感)。 others ideals 应为所有格 others" ideals。 By committing to the your own way 中 the 是多余的。
原文:he boy can permitted to keep himself active engaged and incorporate Beijing Opera into their versatile skill set. Therefore,it can foster readiness to learn, bring brightness and promote the lifelong
批改:the boy can permitted 是被动语态错误,应为 the boy is permitted 或更主动的 the boy can allow himself。 active engaged 应为副词修饰形容词 actively engaged。 their versatile skill set 中代词 their 与主语 the boy 单数不一致,应为 his。 bring brightness 表意稍显模糊,可以具体化为 bring fulfillment (带来成就感)。
原文:y eyes, there are myraid of benefits of following your mind. Armed with a strong sense of that,individuals are motivated to push beyond their interest limitations and break free from the shackles of others ideals ,thus excelling at creating and innovating.By committing to the your own way,the boy can permitted to keep himself active engaged and incorporate Beijing Opera into their versatile skill set. Therefore,it can foster readiness to learn, bring brightness and promote the lifelong learning.
批改:本段的论证角度很好,从“激发创造力”和“构建技能”谈到“促进终身学习”,逻辑链是完整的。 break free from the shackles of others" ideals (挣脱他人观念的束缚) 是非常地道的表达。 论证框架扎实,内容有深度。当前的主要任务是提升语言表达的准确性,确保语法和代词指代的一致,让深刻的见解能通过清晰无误的语言传递出来。
原文:capitulate,the drawing serves as a somber reminder, it is advisable for us to follow our mind,take our destiny into our own hands.
批改:结尾段简洁有力,并尝试使用高级词汇 (recapitulate, somber)。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
主要优点:
立意深刻,结构完整:文章准确地抓住了漫画的哲学内涵,并遵循了“描述-论证-总结”的完整结构。
论证有逻辑性:中间段从多个层面论证了“追随内心”的好处,逻辑链条清晰。
有语言亮点:能够使用 myriad, shackles, recapitulate 等高级词汇,并提出了 break free from the shackles of others" ideals 这样的精彩表达。
核心提升点:
当前最主要的失分项在于语言的准确性与流畅度:
语法与拼写:存在一些影响理解的语法错误(如逗号粘连、被动语态)和拼写错误。
表达地道性:部分词组搭配可以更符合英语母语者的习惯。
细节严谨性:需要注意代词指代、冠词等细节。
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