作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2021年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语一写作技巧常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
Heartwarming and sweet,a gentle father is trying to make the kid wearing traditional Chinese costume feel better.This scene demonstrates an act of staying true to oneself.
The kid"s words clearly reflect a phenomenon : he looks sad as his schoolmates regard his interest as a boring .However, his father encourage him and told "just do it if you really like it."Indeed,with the continues development of our society,everything was changed to fast that it is easy to feel lost . Following the crowd seems like a safe choice.But what about your own ideas?
In my opinion, the father has given us an excellent answer.If everyone makes choice blindly,it will give rise to a negative phenomenon.Therefore, everyone should think twice before making a decision and ensure that their choices will benefit them in the long run.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: a boring
批改: a boring activity
原文: encourage
批改: encourages
原文:told
批改:tells him
原文:continues
批改:continuous
原文: to
批改:so
原文:Heartwarming and sweet,a gentle father is trying to make the kid wearing traditional Chinese costume feel better.This scene demonstrates an act of staying true to oneself. The kid"s words clearly reflect a phenomenon : he looks sad as his schoolmates regard his interest as a boring .However, his father encourage him and told "just do it if you really like it."
批改:描述漫画内容,揭示漫画背后所反映的社会现象和深刻哲理,清晰直观。
原文:eed,with the continues development of our society,everything was changed to fast that it is easy to feel lost . Following the crowd seems like a safe choice.But what about your own ideas? In my opinion, the father has given us an excellent answer.If everyone makes choice blindly,it will give rise to a negative phenomenon.Therefore, everyone should think twice before making a decision and ensure that their choices will benefit them in the long run.
批改:以分论点的形式论述坚持自我,不盲目从众的重要性
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
作文对漫画的理解到位,写作思路紧扣主题,本能够传达清楚作者的写作意图,但在以下几方面还需注意:
1.语法:个别句子从汉语角度看意思通顺,仔细分析其实句子成分不完整,不符合英语表达方式。
2.内容:本文可以从以下多个角度入手展开:坚持做自己喜欢的事情、自信、独立思考、不盲从、父母正确鼓励孩子等,用人生观的角度,都比较好展开;但如果只写传统文化,未涉及上述内容,就偏题了。
整体来看,作文理解了漫画内涵,但是在表达上还存在一定问题。从点评中可以看出作文中有一些表述不当之处,基本是由汉语思维习惯而造成的表达错误,主要体现在词汇使用和搭配不当,后续继续注重练习,加油!
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