2021年考研英语二大作文真题与例文批改

一篇高分的考研英语大作文，常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2021年考研英语二批改范例，每一段都体现了这三大要素，启航教育考研英语二写作冲刺教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the residents" methods of exercising in a certain city. Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%,followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally,factors such as exercising with families and group activities are also considered,accounting for 23.9% and 18.5%,respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with,as we all know,the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives,significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices.Consequently,an increasing number of individuals have started excising alone to avoid contacting with strangers. In addition,as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes,our government has made tremendous efforts to build parks and physical exercising facilities,enabling residents to have ample opportunities to exercise with friends and families.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above significant figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents,serving as a microcom of the changes in the era,and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the residents" methods of exercising in a certain city. Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%,followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally,factors such as exercising with families and group activities are also considered,accounting for 23.9% and 18.5%,respectively.

批改：这一段写得非常出色！开篇句要素齐全，点明了图表主题。数据的引述有主有次，顺序清晰，并且熟练运用了“takes the lead”, “followed by”, “accounting for...respectively”等一系列专业短语，表现得非常好。

原文： core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with,as we all know,the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives,significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices.Consequently,an increasing number of individuals have started excising alone to avoid contacting with strangers. In addition,as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes,our government has made tremendous efforts to build parks and physical exercising facilities,enabling residents to have ample opportunities to exercise with friends and families.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：原因分析的角度选择得很巧妙，分别解释了“独自锻炼”和“与家人朋友锻炼”两种现象，逻辑自洽。那个关于政府的比喻句“conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes”用得非常有文采！

原文：t about future trends? I am confident that the above significant figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents,serving as a microcom of the changes in the era,and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：结尾段再次使用了“a microcom of the changes in the era”这样有深度的表达，并且对未来趋势给出了合理的判断，整体完成得很好

原文：xcising alone t

批改：“excising alone”: 这里有一个小小的拼写错误。“锻炼”的正确拼写是 exercising。“Excising”意思是“切除”，所以这里我们改正为 exercising alone

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：13

我给你的核心建议是：

打造“词汇精度”：你已经有意识使用高级词汇了，现在需要确保它们的拼写和搭配100%准确。比如这次提到的 exercise (非excise) 和 microcosm (非microcom)。把这些好词及其固定搭配（如 avoid contact with, fitness facilities）整理下来，反复记忆。

追求“书面感”：将文中仅存的一点口语化痕迹（如 “as we all know”, “What about...”）替换成更书面的表达，你的文章会显得更加成熟老练。

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