启航教育作为考研英语培训领域的知名品牌,每年都会整理发布当年的考研英语作文模板高分范文。本文呈现的2024年考研英语一大作文批改例文中,每一处失分点都已被老师精准订正,是2027考生不可错过的写作资料。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
As shown in the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy, standing in the fitness area of the park and saying proudly, “The newly park near my home is really nice!" Simultaneously, in the right-hand chart, the number of parks in a particular city was on a steady rise from 2020 to 2022.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue physical health. This explains why an increasing number of people choose to exercise in the park. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impocted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an inoreasing number of individuals have started playing more attention to health and fitness. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the number of exercise participants and that of parks will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:ewly park
批改:newly park:形容词形式错误。newly是副词,应改为形容词 new。 was on a steady rise:时态可以优化。图表展示的是2020-2022年已完成的上升趋势,使用一般过去时 was没错,但用 shows a steady rise(现在时,描述图表所呈现的状态)或 had been on a steady rise(过去完成时,强调在2022年之前持续上升)会更精准。
原文:udly, “The newly park near my home is really nice!" Simultaneously, in the right-hand chart, the number of parks in a particular city was on a steady rise from 2020 to
批改:你对两幅图的描述非常简洁到位,引入了核心要素
原文:wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue physical health. This explains why an increasing number of people
批改:impocted:拼写错误,应为 impacted。 inoreasing:拼写错误,应为 increasing。 playing more attention to:固定搭配错误,应为 paying more attention to。 health and fitness:中间的 and误写为中文的 和字,应改为英文的 and。
原文:e material satisfaction; they also pursue physical health. This explains why an increasing number of people choose to exercise in the park. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impocted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an inoreasing number of individuals have started playing more attention to health and fitness. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:这是全文最精彩的部分!你的论证逻辑非常清晰和深刻,从“社会进步推动精神需求”到“疫情改变健康观念”,两个原因层层递进,具有很强的说服力。使用的词汇和句式也相当高级
原文:future trends? I am confident that the number of exercise participants and that of parks will steadily increase in the fol
批改:结尾简短有力
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
总分与评级:
你的作文优点和缺点都非常明显。优点是:结构严谨,论证深刻有力,展现了优秀的逻辑思维和很好的语言潜力(使用了高级词汇和复杂句式)。缺点是:出现了一些不该有的拼写和固定搭配错误。
总评与修改建议:
同学,我必须说,你的论证能力非常强!你的文章骨架(结构)和肌肉(观点逻辑)都是一流水准,尤其是第二段的原因分析,写得非常棒。目前最大的敌人就是“粗心”,它让你的作文功亏一篑。
给你的核心建议非常简单,但极其有效:
写完后的3分钟“黄金检查”。请务必在完成作文后,静下心来快速通读一遍,只做一件事:抓低级错误。重点关注:
拼写:逐个检查长单词(如impacted, increasing)。
搭配:回忆常用搭配(如pay attention to)。
“小词”:检查冠词(a/an/the)、介词(to/for/of)、连词(and/but)的使用。
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