距离2027考研英语初试已不足一年,写作冲刺阶段高效的复习方式就是精研历年真题高分范文。本文精解的2024年考研英语一批改范例,紧扣考研英语一作文真题写作锦囊要点,全文结构严谨、表达地道,适合所有2027考生。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
2024 大作文
必须使用黑色字迹书写:在答题卡区域内作答,超出黑色矩形边框限定区域的答案无效
As shown in the cartoon, there are some people running in the park and a little boy is saying the new built park near the home looked well. Meanwhile, in the right-hand bar chart clearly depicts the number of parks in recent years. In 2020, the number of city park was 406 and the number of park was 532 in 2021, by 2022, the figure had substantially visen to 670. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is leisure parks that play an important and postive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, betting parks can provide people with an opportunity to relax themselves and doing exercise, So that can promote personal growth and make our more healthier, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, parks can attach us with our neighbors and maybe some strangers, because we can communicate with others while we are jogging. It"s benefit for us to make more friends.
In brief, Parks are the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should activiely support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we create a happier life.
必须使用黑色字迹书写:在答题卡区域内作答,超出黑色矩形边框限定区域的答案无效
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:s in recent years. In 2020, the number of city park was 406 and the number of park was 532 in 2021, by 2022, the figure had substantially visen to 670. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to
批改:new built -> newly-built (符合语法规范的正确表达) looked well -> is very nice 或 is wonderful (描述事物状态,well 通常指身体好) visen -> risen (拼写错误) postive -> positive (拼写错误)
原文: right-hand bar chart clearly depicts the number of parks in recent years. In 2020, the number of city park was 406 and the number of park was 532 in 2021, by 2022, the figure had substa
批改:in the right-hand bar chart clearly depicts... 存在语法错误,应去掉 in,改为 the right-hand bar chart clearly depicts...。 the number of city park 和 the number of park 中,park 应用复数形式 parks。 数据描述的句式略显重复,可以优化为:The number of city parks grew from 406 in 2020 to 532 in 2021, and then rose substantially to 670 in 2022.
原文:ew built park near the home looked well. Meanwhile, in the right-hand bar chart clearly depicts the number of parks in recent years. In 2020, the number of city park was 406 and the number of park was 532 in 2021, by 2022, the figure had substantially visen to 670. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is leisure parks that play an important and postive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改::第一段成功地对两幅图进行了描述,并提炼出了核心论点
原文: being self-consuming. What is more, parks can attach us with our neighbors and maybe some stra
批改:betting parks -> Building parks 或 Parks (根据上下文,此处应为笔误) make our more healthier -> make us healthier (our` 是物主代词,此处应用宾格 `us`;`more healthier` 是重复比较,保留 `healthier` 即可) attach us with -> connect us with 或 attach us to (固定搭配) It"s benefit for us -> It"s beneficial for us (benefit 是名词/动词,此处需要形容词 beneficial)
原文:phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, betting parks can provide people with an opportunity to relax themselves and doing exercise, So that can promote personal growth and make our more healthier, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, parks can attach us with our neighbors and maybe some strangers, because we can communicate with others while we are jogging. It"s benefit for us to make more friends.
批改:本段从“促进健康”和“加强社交”两个角度分析,切中了公园的核心功能
原文:, Parks are the catalyst for pers
批改:Parks 作为句首普通名词,不应大写。 activiely -> actively (拼写错误) catalyst (催化剂) 这个词用得非常精准、高级,是全文的亮点!
原文:ief, Parks are the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should activiely support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we create a happier life.
批改:结尾段非常成功。它简洁地总结了观点,并提出了积极的倡议
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16
同学,你的这篇作文结构清晰,论点明确,并且能够运用高级词汇(如 catalyst)和复杂句式,这些都是你非常突出的优点!
你的作文已经具备了冲击高分的潜力。如果希望在现有良好的基础上再进一步,老师建议你重点关注以下两点:
语法的精细打磨:请特别关注并列结构的一致性、从句的引导词以及常见固定搭配。在完成写作后,留出1-2分钟快速通读检查,确保句子的准确性。
词汇的准确应用:在追求词汇丰富性的同时,要确保其拼写和用法的绝对正确。有时,使用一个拼写正确的简单词,比使用一个拼错的高级词效果更好。
透过这篇2024年考研英语一批改范文,相信你对考研英语一作文真题的写作框架有了更深入的认识。启航教育长期为考研英语考生提供一对一专业作文批改,从词汇、语法到结构系统诊断失分点,欢迎在线咨询预约免费批改名额。
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