考研英语一2016年大作文写作方向与示例

启航教育在考研英语写作教学中反复强调：词汇与句式的高级化是考研英语作文高分的关键。本文整理的2016年考研英语一批改范例，几乎每一段都包含高分替换词与衔接词，是考研英语一作文模板写作锦囊中的代表性范文。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

Iresponsible and earnest, the man in the left side of picture watches TV while focusing his son to study hard, yet in the right side of the picture is the other scene that the man diligenily works for his s mission accompanying with his son to pursuit the rosy future.

It"s hardly necessary for me to elaborate the old proverb verified by well-know expert in education -"Setting an example is better than giving orders. On one hand, children are natural imitators, they learned more from parents do than from what parents say. If parents constantly glued to the screen when pushing about handwork, sends a contradictory image that undermines the authorities in the mind of children. Conversely, when parents demonstrate love curiosity and the displine for the missions, they provide a powerful and vivid lesson for their children. It will be useful than the instructive orders alone.

To sum it up, helpful education requires awareness of self improvement. To cultivate the desirable image in the yourger generation, parents must embody the values themselves first.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：Iresponsible and earnest, the man in the left side of picture watches TV while focusing his son to study hard,

批改：“Iresponsible”拼写错误，应为“Irresponsible”；“in the left side of picture”表述错误，应是“on the left side of the picture”；“focusing his son to study hard”搭配不当，应是“urging his son to study hard”。

原文：yet in the right side of the picture is the other scene that the man diligenily works for his s mission accompanying with his son to pursuit the rosy future.

批改：“in the right side of the picture”表述错误，应是“on the right side of the picture”；“diligenily”拼写错误，应是“diligently”；“his s mission”表述错误，应是“his mission”；“accompanying with”搭配错误，应是“accompanies”；“pursuit”形式错误，这里应用动词“pursue”。

原文：It"s hardly necessary for me to elaborate the old proverb verified by well-know expert in education -"Setting an example is better than giving orders.

批改：“elaborate”缺少介词“on”；“well - know”拼写错误，应是“well - known”；“expert”前缺少不定冠词“an”；引号内内容缺少右引号。

原文：On one hand, children are natural imitators, they learned more from parents do than from what parents say.

批改：句子结构混乱，两个句子直接用逗号连接，应将第二个句子改为非谓语形式或用连词连接；“learned”时态错误，应是“learn”；“from parents do”表述错误，应是“from what parents do”。

原文：If parents constantly glued to the screen when pushing about handwork, sends a contradictory image that undermines the authorities in the mind of children.

批改：“If parents constantly glued to the screen”缺少谓语动词，应是“If parents are constantly glued to the screen”；“pushing about handwork”表述不通顺，应是“pushing their children to do handwork”；句子缺少主语，应在“sends”前加“it”。

原文：Conversely, when parents demonstrate love curiosity and the displine for the missions, they provide a powerful and vivid lesson for their children.

批改：“love curiosity”表述错误，应是“love and curiosity”；“displine”拼写错误，应是“discipline”

原文：It will be useful than the instructive orders alone.

批改：“useful”是比较级，前面应加“more”；句子缺少主语，可改为“It will be more useful than giving instructive orders alone”。

原文：To sum it up, helpful education requires awareness of self improvement.

批改：“awareness of self improvement”表述不太准确，应是“awareness of self - improvement”。

原文：To cultivate the desirable image in the yourger generation, parents must embody the values themselves first.

批改：“in the yourger generation”表述错误，应是“in the younger generation”；“yourger”拼写错误，应是“younger”。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12/20

题目要求：作文围绕给定图片展开，在描述图片内容后，对图片所传达的“父母以身作则对孩子教育影响”这一核心意义进行了深入解读，并给出了关于家庭教育的评论，基本满足了题目中描述图片、解读意义和给出评论的要求。

语言表达：文章中存在大量语法错误，如句子结构混乱、时态使用不当、词汇拼写错误等。例如“If parents constantly glued to the screen when pushing about handwork”缺少谓语动词；“learned”时态错误；“yourger”拼写错误等。这些错误严重影响了语言的准确性和流畅性。

内容层面：在解读意义部分，通过对比父母不同行为对孩子产生的不同影响，如父母自己看电视却督促孩子学习和父母努力工作并陪伴孩子追求未来这两种场景的对比，逻辑较为清晰地阐述了“言传身教”的重要性，使观点具有一定的说服力。

修改建议：仔细检查文章中的语法错误和拼写错误，确保句子结构完整、时态正确、词汇拼写准确。

对每一位2027考研人而言，考研英语一作文模板都是冲刺阶段必须攻克的难关。启航教育陪伴一届又一届学子走向考研英语写作高分，本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文正是经典参考之一。欢迎关注启航教育，了解更多考研英语备考干货。