据启航教育英语教研组统计,考研英语写作模板话题连续多年成为考研英语一大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2013年考研英语一批改例文中,考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达,获得高分,其写作思路可供2027考研英语一考生直接借鉴。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon,there are some graduates,standing at the road of life,which will choose different paths,including looking jobs,attending postgraduate entrance exams,going abroad and establishing an enterprise.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers,that it is choosing a correct road that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,a good choice can ignite our creativity,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment,thus making life rewarding and meaningful,rather than being self-consuming.On the other hand,an unsuitable choice is like a heavy chain that hinders people’s progress,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
In brief,making a correct path is the catalyst for personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice.Only by doing so can we develop individual potential,fulfill our aspirations, create a happier life.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon,there are some graduates,standing at the road of life,which will choose different paths,including looking jobs,attending postgraduate entrance exams,going abroad and establishing an enterprise
批改:整体表意基本清晰,但存在语法错误。“looking jobs”表述错误,应是“looking for jobs”;“which will choose different paths”逻辑有误,这里应该是“graduates”选择不同道路,可改为“who will choose different paths”。
原文:Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers,that it is choosing a correct road that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:句子结构较复杂,使用了强调句型“it is...that...”。
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.
批改:句子表意清晰,起到承上启下的作用,引出下文对现象重要方面的阐述。
原文:On the one hand,a good choice can ignite our creativity,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment,thus making life rewarding and meaningful,rather than being self-consuming.
批改:表达流畅,逻辑合理,使用了“ignite”等较生动的词汇,阐述了好的选择带来的积极影响。
原文:On the other hand,an unsuitable choice is like a heavy chain that hinders people’s progress,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
批改:运用比喻的修辞手法,形象地说明了不合适选择的负面影响,句子结构完整,表达准确。
原文:In brief,making a correct path is the catalyst for personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.
批改:总结上文,强调正确选择对个人发展的重要性,“catalyst”一词使用恰当。
原文:Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice.Only by doing so can we develop individual potential,fulfill our aspirations, create a happier life.
批改:发出呼吁,逻辑合理,使用了“Only by doing so can we...”的倒装结构,增强了语气。但“create a happier life”前缺少连接词,可加上“and”。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12/20
题目要求:文章基本遵循了题目要求。首先,对漫画内容进行了描述,提及毕业生站在人生道路上,面临找工作、考研、出国和创业等不同选择。其次,对漫画意图进行了解读,指出选择正确道路对个人生活和社会有重要积极作用。最后,给出了自己的评论,强调正确选择是个人发展的催化剂,呼吁大家支持倡导。
语言表达:使用了“ignite”“catalyst”等较为生动的词汇,增强了表达的感染力。例如“a good choice can ignite our creativity”,形象地说明了好的选择对创造力的激发作用。存在多处语法问题,如“looking jobs”应改为“looking for jobs”;“which will choose different paths”应改为“who will choose different paths”;“convey to readers,”中逗号多余;“create a happier life”前缺少连接词等。这些错误影响了句子的准确性和流畅性。
内容层面:文章整体采用了“描述漫画 - 解读意义 - 给出评论”的逻辑结构,层次分明。在解读意义时,从正反两个方面进行阐述,对比鲜明,能更清晰地理解选择的重要性。
修改建议:多积累词汇,理解词汇的准确含义和用法,选择更自然、地道的词汇和短语进行表达。例如,将“making a correct path”改为“making a correct choice”。加油!
复习考研英语大作文,务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,专为冲刺阶段考生打造,从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全,是考研英语写作模板写作提分的可靠方案。
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