考研英语一2011年大作文真题与例文批改

一篇高分的考研英语大作文，常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2011年考研英语一批改范例，每一段都体现了这三大要素，启航教育考研英语一写作冲刺教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, enjoying the scenery on the boat and throwing rubbish into the lake, which makes the lake very dirty and causes water pollution. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental protection is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the virtue of preserving the environment is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. What"s more, environmental sustainability holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting national strength and safeguarding public health, further propelling social sustainable development.

How can we put an end to the problem of contaminating environment？It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issue related laws and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough？In reality, we also need to foster the virtue of protecting environment deliberately and strength self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, enjoying the scenery on the boat and throwing rubbish into the lake, which makes the lake very dirty and causes water pollution. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental protection is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：准确描述了图画内容

原文：and

批改：删除，改用逗号

原文：further

批改：加and

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the virtue of preserving the environment is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. What"s more, environmental sustainability holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting national strength and safeguarding public health, further propelling social sustainable development.

批改：论据充分，词汇和语法结构丰富

原文： issue

批改：issuing

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of contaminating environment？It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issue related laws and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough？In reality, we also need to foster the virtue of protecting environment deliberately and strength self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：回扣主题，首尾呼应

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：18/20分。

1.作文内容包含全面，主题明确，层次分明，考试使保持这样的结构；

2.运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇，定语从句，主语从句，强调句，非谓语结构和宾语从句变化使用，体现了英语水平；

3.采用恰当的衔接手法，内容较为连贯，老师评卷时会非常喜欢；

4.根据自己的基础，要多内化老师讲的高分词汇和模板句型，写作和背诵相结合，形成自己的语料库和写作思路，加油！

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