考研英语一2017年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2017年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一写作技巧话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。

一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目

考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a person,sitting and showing off that he has many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another person said that they hope to read 20 books this year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive action is the brush that paints a bright future, while laziness is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive action can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, laziness is not only merely a chronic poison that stifles potential, but also the Achilles" heel of many youth. It silently erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructive slide.

In brief, the positive action is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of the laziness to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：he left-hand cartoon, there is a person,sitting and showing off that he has many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another person said that they hope to read 20 books this year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive action is the brush that paints a bright future, while laziness is the shackle that hinders progress

批改：开篇描述清晰，对比结构使用得当。"on the contrary"这个连接词用得很准确。核心的比喻句写得非常精彩，"brush"和"shackle"的对比令人印象深刻！

原文：r person said th

批改：描述漫画内容时，通常使用一般现在时。“another person said” 建议改为 “another person says”，以保持时态一致。

原文：henomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive action can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, laziness is not only merely a chronic poison that stifles potential, but also the Achilles" heel of many youth. It silently erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructive slide.

批改：本段的正反论证逻辑清晰，说理透彻。"nurture our souls"和"chronic poison"的运用非常贴切。"Achilles" heel"和"warping the ladder of ascent"这两个表达尤为出彩，显示了你的词汇量和思辨深度！

原文：many youth

批改：“many youth” 中，“youth” 作为“年轻人”的集合概念时，通常是不可数名词，这里用 “many young people” 或 “the youth” 会更常见

原文：rief, the positive action is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of the laziness to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：结尾段总结有力，再次升华主题。"catalyst"（催化剂）和"detrimental effects"（有害影响）这两个高级词汇的使用非常准确，为文章增色不少

原文：e positive action is the

批改：“the positive action” 和 “the laziness” 中的定冠词 “the” 是多余的。这里是在泛指这两种品质，而非特指某一次行动或某种特定的懒惰，因此直接使用 “positive action” 和 “laziness” 即可。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

你的作文内容切题，结构严谨，论证充分，并成功使用了高级词汇和复杂句式。主要的提升空间在于语法细节的精准度，如冠词使用和词汇搭配。

总评与建议：

同学，你这篇作文最突出的优点是严谨的结构和出色的修辞能力。你不仅能精准地描述漫画对比，还能运用“Achilles" heel”这样高级的典故和“warping the ladder of ascent”这样富有想象力的比喻，这非常难得！这证明了你拥有写出优秀作文的潜力。

当前，我们可以集中精力提升语言的绝对准确性。你的宏观架构和词汇储备都很棒，现在需要让微观的语法细节与之完美匹配。我的核心建议是：

关注冠词用法：请留意英语中泛指与特指的区别。当谈论一个抽象概念或类别时（如积极行动、懒惰），通常不使用定冠词 "the"。

强化词汇深度：你已经有意识使用高级词汇，未来可以更关注它们的准确拼写（如self-fulfillment）和典型搭配，让这些“好词”用得更稳、更准。

如果你也想让自己的考研英语一作文拿到理想分数，可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时，启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名，在线咨询可获考研英语一写作技巧高分资料礼包。