一篇高分的考研英语大作文,常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2024年考研英语一批改范例,每一段都体现了这三大要素,启航教育考研英语一作文模板教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
In the left picture,several yongersters are exercising in the community fitness area,with one exclaiming,"The newly built park nearby is simply fantastic!"Complementing the scene,th right chart shows a striking surge in the number of parks in a city–leaping from 406 in 2020 to 670 in 2022.It vivdly illustrates how improved public infrastructure fuels people" pursuit of healthy lives.
Two key factors drive this postive trend. Firstly, the government"s commitent to livehood development has made fitness resources more accessible. Investing in green public spaces has become a priority,bridging the gap between people"s fitness need and available facilities. Secondly,such infrastructure not only promotes physical health but also fosters a greener environment.Parks reduce pollution while offering ideal spaces for exercise,creating a win–win for citizens and nature.
In conclusion, the expansion of public parks reflects progress toward better well–beings. Governments should continue improving public infrastructure construction to meet people"s growing demand for a better life.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:ing,"The newly built park nearby is simply fantastic!"Complementing the scene,th right chart shows a striking surge in the number of parks in a city–leaping from 406 in 2020 to 670 in 2022.It vivdly illustrates how improved public infrastructure fuels people" pursuit of healthy lives.
批改:开篇段落的句式结构丰富且高级,逻辑衔接自然流畅,对现象的概括精准到位
原文:yongersters are exercising in the community fitness area,with one exclaiming,"The newly built park nearby is simply fantastic!"Complementing the scene,th right chart shows a striking surge in th
批改:yongersters -> youngsters (拼写错误) th right chart -> the right chart (漏写单词) vivdly -> vividly (拼写错误) people" pursuit -> people"s pursuit (名词所有格)
原文: postive trend. Firstly, the government"s commitent to livehood development has made fitness resources more accessible. Investing in green public spaces has become a priority,bridging th
批改:postive -> positive (拼写错误) commitent -> commitment (拼写错误) livehood -> livelihood (拼写错误)
原文:people"s fitness need and available facilities. Secondly,such infrastructure not only promotes
批改:people"s fitness need -> people"s fitness needs (应为复数) creating a win–win for citizens and nature 表意清晰,若改为 creating a win-win scenario for both citizens and nature 则更为完整。 本段论证的两个层面——“政府惠民”与“环保健康”——视角全面,分析深刻,逻辑严密。
原文: key factors drive this postive trend. Firstly, the government"s commitent to livehood development has made fitness resources more accessible. Investing in green public spaces has become a priority,bridging the gap between people"s fitness need and available facilities. Secondly,such infrastructure not only promotes physical health but also fosters a greener environment.Parks reduce pollution while offering ideal spaces for exercise,creating a win–win for citizens and nature.
批改:这真是一段非常出色的论证!你从两个关键且切题的维度深入剖析,体现了优秀的思维层次。通过修正个别拼写,你的论证将无懈可击。
原文: well–bein
批改:well–beings -> well-being (幸福、福祉,为不可数名词)
原文:ion, the expansion of public parks reflects progress toward better well–beings. Governments should continue improving public infrastructure construction to meet people"s growing demand for a better life.
批改:结尾段简洁有力地总结了观点,并提出了积极的政策建议,圆满地收束了全文。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
你这篇作文在立意深度、逻辑架构和语言成熟度上都展现出了极高的水准。你不仅描述了现象,更深刻地揭示了其背后的政策逻辑和综合效益(惠民、健康、环保),这远超简单的图表描述。
你的作文已经非常完美。如果非要提出建议,那便是:
追求极致的拼写准确性:在保持现有思维深度的同时,确保如 commitment, livelihood, well-being 等核心学术词汇的拼写100%正确。
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