考研英语一2016年大作文怎么写？附例文批改

想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数？研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2016年考研英语一批改范例，从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论，每一段都渗透着考研英语写作锦囊热点话题的得分要点。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

请使用信色字迹书:在1题中区域内作答,留出黑色里斯边框限堂区域的其常无效。

In the lift-hand cartoon, there is a father smoking and watching TV, which asking his son study hard. In the right-hand cartoon, there is a father studying with his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is positive example that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in serval ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, positive example can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-ful-fillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than self consuming. What is more, the positive behaviors of parents are of great significance to children"s growth, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for ensuring the healthy growth of children, can help children grow into truly outstanding talents.

In brief, positive example is the catalyst for societal and persona development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support this practice. Only by doing so can we fulfill our aspirations and create a happier life.

请使用黑色字迹书写:在答题卡区城内作答,超出黑色矩形边框限定区域的答案无效。

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三、考研英语作文批改

原文：e lift-hand cartoon, there is a father smoking and watching TV, which asking his son study hard. In the right-hand cartoon, there is a father studying with his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is positive example that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：开篇段成功描述了漫画的对比场景，并精准地提炼出文章主旨

原文：lift-hand cartoon, there is a father smoking and watching TV, which asking his son study hard. In the right-hand cartoon, there is a father studying with his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to c

批改：lift-hand 是拼写错误，应为 left-hand。 which asking his son study hard 是一个语法结构错误。这里并非定语从句，而是并列的伴随动作，可以改为 and asks his son to study hard。ask sb to do sth 是固定搭配，不能省略 to。 it is positive example that play... 是强调句，主语 positive example 是单数，谓语动词应使用第三人称单数 plays。

原文： phenomenon is thought-provoking in serval ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, positive example can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-ful-fillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than self consuming. What is more, the positive behaviors of parents are of great significance to children"s growth, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for ensuring the healthy growth of children, can help children grow into truly outstanding talents.

批改：本段的论证角度是好的

原文：serval ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, positive example can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-ful-fillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than self consuming. What is more, the positive behavi

批改：serval 拼写错误，应为 several。 self-ful-fillment 连字符使用不当，应为一个词 self-fulfillment。 self consuming 作为形容词，应加连字符 self-consuming。 as it serves... 中的 it 指代的是前文的复数名词 behaviors，代词应保持一致，使用 they。 , can help children... 这是一个典型的句子粘连错误，连接了两个独立的谓语动词。可以改为 and can help... 或者用句号断句。

原文：ief, positive example is the catalyst for societal and persona development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support this practice. Only by doing so can we fulfill our aspirations and create a happier life.

批改：结尾段很好地总结了全文，并成功运用了高级句式和词汇。

原文：persona de

批改：persona 拼写错误，应为 personal。Persona 指“人格面具”，personal 才是“个人的”。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

主要优点：

结构严谨：文章框架清晰，遵循了“描述-论证-总结”的经典结构。

立意明确：准确地抓住了“父母正面榜样”这一核心，论证不跑题。

语言有亮点：能够使用 catalyst, nurture, self-fulfillment, fulfill our aspirations 等高级词汇和复杂句式。

核心提升点：

当前，阻碍你获得更高分数的主要因素，依然是语言的精确性与严谨性，具体体现在：

拼写与语法：存在一些关键名词和形容词的拼写错误，以及主谓一致、代词指代、句子结构等语法问题。

逻辑表达：部分句子的逻辑可以更精炼、更直接。

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