本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2013年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
请使用黑色字迹书写:在答题卡区域内作答,超出黑色矩形边框限定区域的答案无效
As shown in the cartoon, there are many graduates, standing at the crossroads of life and facing four different choices, namely starting a business, going abroad, preparing for postgraduate exam and job searching, which leting them hositate. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is choosing the right path that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in serval ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand in modern society full of challenges, changes, and chance, choosing a right path that suits us and persevering with it has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. On the other hand, bindly following others is likein a heavy chain that hinders graduates"progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining bightly in fulture society.
In brief, choosing the right path is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality. Only by doing 30 can we fulfill our arpirations.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there are many graduates, standing at the crossroads of life and facing four different choices, namely starting a business, going abroad, preparing for postgraduate exam and job searching, which leting them hositate.
批改:存在较多语法错误。“which leting them hositate”中,“leting”拼写错误,应为“letting”;“hositate”拼写错误,应为“hesitate”;且“which”引导的非限定性定语从句中,谓语动词形式错误,应改为“which lets them hesitate”。
原文:Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is choosing the right path that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:此句使用了强调句型“it is...that...”,结构基本正确,表意是漫画家想传达选择正确道路对个人和社会都很重要
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in serval ways, but two of them are particularly significant.
批改:“serval”拼写错误,应为“several”。句子想表达这一现象在很多方面引人深思,其中两点尤其重要
原文:On the one hand in modern society full of challenges, changes, and chance, choosing a right path that suits us and persevering with it has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.
批改:句子结构较混乱,“On the one hand in modern society...”表述不当,应改为“On the one hand, in modern society...”;“chance”应改为复数“chances”与前面的“challenges”“changes”形式一致。
原文:On the other hand, bindly following others is likein a heavy chain that hinders graduates"progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining bightly in fulture society.
批改:存在多处拼写错误,“bindly”应为“blindly”,“likein”表述错误,应去掉“in”,“bightly”应为“brightly”,“fulture”应为“future”。
原文:In brief, choosing the right path is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit.
批改:句子表达基本正确,使用“catalyst”形象地说明选择正确道路对个人和社会发展的推动作用。
原文:Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality. Only by doing 30 can we fulfill our arpirations.
批改:“doing 30”表述错误,应是“doing so”;“arpirations”拼写错误,应为“aspirations”。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13/20
题目要求:作文基本尝试按照题目要求进行创作。在描述漫画时,提及了毕业生站在人生十字路口,面临创业、出国、考研、求职四种不同选择这一画面内容;在解读寓意方面,指出漫画家想传达选择正确道路对个人和社会有重要作用;在评论部分,也阐述了对这一现象的思考并给出相关观点。整体方向与题目要求相符。
语言表达:部分词汇运用有一定的表现力,例如“catalyst”一词形象地说明了选择正确道路对个人和社会发展的推动作用
内容层面:对选择正确道路这一主题进行了思考,从正反两个方面阐述了其作用。一方面指出在充满挑战和机遇的现代社会,选择并坚持适合自己的道路能区分杰出与平凡之人;另一方面说明盲目跟从他人会阻碍毕业生进步,剥夺独立思考能力,影响未来发展。
修改建议:仔细检查文章中的语法错误,包括主谓一致、名词单复数、时态、句子结构等,确保句子结构正确。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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