想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数?研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2016年考研英语二批改范例,从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论,每一段都渗透着考研英语写作技巧热点话题的得分要点。
一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目
考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文
The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of research of purposes of students" traveling in certain university. Watching views takes the lead at 37%, followed by leaving pressure at 34%. Additionally, factors such as making friends, developing independence and others are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6% and 15% respectively. The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes, "In life, pressure is always present." Now, university students are confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, traveling has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many beautiful views, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for watching views. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of university students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
要不要我帮你把这段内容翻译成中文,方便你直接对照阅读?
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:in certain univers
批改:in certain university → at a certain university (介词和冠词错误)
原文:atching views t
批改:Watching views → Sightseeing 或 Enjoying scenery (用词不地道)
原文:eaving pressur
批改:leaving pressure → relieving stress (用词错误,语义不清)
原文: pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of research of purposes of students" traveling in certain university. Watching views takes the lead at 37%, followed by leaving pressure at 34%
批改:本段完成了基本的图表数据描述,但存在多处用词不当
原文:are confro
批改:are confront → confront 或 are confronting (语法错误)
原文: build many beautiful
批改:build many beautiful views → develop scenic spots 或 preserve natural landscapes (表达不专业)
原文:dditionally, factors such as making friends, developing independence and others are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6% and 15% respectively. The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes, "In life, pressure is always present." Now, university students are confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, traveling has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many beautiful views, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for watching views. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:本段分析存在两个主要问题:一是语言表达不够准确,二是论证逻辑不够紧密。特别是第二个论点缺乏说服力
原文:at about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of university students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:结尾段完成得很好,预测合理,表达流畅,且使用了"microcosm"等高级词汇
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分
总评:
这篇作文结构完整,数据描述基本准确,结尾段写得相当出色,这些都很值得肯定。
主要优点:
三段式结构清晰完整
结尾段的预测合理且有深度
能够使用一些高级词汇
待改进方面:
语言表达的精准度:需要注意动词搭配、介词使用等细节问题
论述的相关性:原因分析要更贴近学生的真实心理
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