作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2016年考研英语二大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语二写作冲刺常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目
考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文
The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the diverse purposes of traveling among students at a certain university. Enjoying the view takes the lead at 37%, followed by reducing stress at 33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends , cultivating independence and other reasons are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6% and 15% respectively .
The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, university students are no longer content with mere material satisfaction , they also pursuit spiritual enjoyment . This explains why 37% students believe that enjoying a stunning view of traveling places is the most significant purpose. In addition, as the saying goes “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.”Nowadays, university students are
compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result , traveling has emerged as a significant choice tor utilizing their leisure time.Considering these factors , the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising .
What about future trends? I"m confident that the above statistical figures accurately reflects the choices of students and will keep relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:pursuit
批改:pursuit 为名词,动词应为 pursue
原文:they also pursuit spiritual enjoyment
批改:前后为逗号连接的两个完整句,they前面应加 and
原文:37% students
批改:37% of students
原文:tor
批改:for
原文:reflects
批改:figures 为复数,动词改为 reflect
原文:eep
批改:“keep” 是及物动词,后需接宾语,描述 “保持稳定” 常用不及物动词 “remain”
原文:The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the diverse purposes of traveling among students at a certain university. Enjoying the view takes the lead at 37%, followed by reducing stress at 33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends , cultivating independence and other reasons are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6% and 15% respectively .
批改:准确列出五项出游目的占比
原文:he core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, university students are no longer content with mere material satisfaction , they also pursuit spiritual enjoyment . This explains why 37% students believe that enjoying a stunning view of traveling places is the most significant purpose. In addition, as the saying goes “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.”Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result , traveling has emerged as a significant choice tor utilizing their leisure time.Considering these factors , the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising .
批改:用“社会进步→精神需求”及“学业压力→释放需求”双因解释,思路合理
原文:“On life’s stage, pressure is always present.”
批改:学会引用,增加了文章的质量
原文:What about future trends? I"m confident that the above statistical figures accurately reflects the choices of students and will keep relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:结尾简短预测未来趋势
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12/15
1.题目要求:字数符合题目要求。文章需要分析图表并写出自己的观点,符合题目要求。
2.语言表达:语言表达清晰。但还有些拼写问题,考生需要多加注意。
3.内容层面:文章的结构清晰,有明确的开头、中间和结尾,逻辑连贯。
4.修改意见:这篇文章有效地分析了图表信息,并提供了原因和未来趋势的预测。尽管存在一些语法和拼写错误,但文章的整体结构和逻辑是清晰的。在中间段的内容丰富,但是结尾的预测较为简短,若情况允许也可以简短地提及“为什么趋势保持稳定”。另外有一些拼写错误,建议考生在写作时认真检查。
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